goodness, humor, life

Too friendship, call the cops

Yes, it’s another friendship post.  I enjoy my friends.  We have a solid rapport.  Lots of harassment and support.  Good times.

Last night a group of dojo buddies came over.  We make plans to play a boardgame or watch a movie, but tend to end up just sitting around chatting and laughing.  Last night we watched a couple episodes of Batman: The Animated Series and I made them fried eggs and hash browns, followed by tea and cookies.  Pretty cute.

One of my dojo buddies got a new phone recently, and messaged me on Facebook asking me for my number.  So I texted him the following, and received a reply from someone who I assumed had adopted his old number.  Oops.

yarrrrggg!

yarrrrggg!

Naturally, it was him all along.  What a douche.  Good times.

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goodness, life

International friendships

Remember that Japanese woman I befriended, who came to the pumpkin carving with her husband and friend?  Well.  She brought me a little gift (box of weird Japanese candy, lol so sweet), and just sent me an email that I have to put up here.

Hi Ms. Tigerlilytoph,

How are you? 
I’m sorry for late thank you. 
We had so much fun at Halloween Carving Party. Especially my friend enjoyed a lot. When she left here, I asked her ” what was the most enjoyable event for you?” she said ” I enjoyed Pumpkin Carving  the best.”
She was so satisfied with the memorable experience. Of course, my husband and I enjoyed a lot. 
On Oct. 30th, my family came to LA and they were so surprised to see pumpkins we carved. That was the first time in their life to see it.
I was so glad I could show them one aspect of the American Halloween.
Thank you so much for giving us a great memory.

Thank you.

Such kindness.  I wish I could have spent more time with her at the party.
Naturally I asked her what she was doing for Thanksgiving.  The pumpkin carving was crowded but otherwise pretty chill.  I’m trying to picture this woman and her husband surrounded by my giant Italian family.  We shall see…

P.S. This is my third (fourth?) post about friendship in the last week.  I can’t begin to say how pleased I am that this is what my life looks like right now.  I just have a good feeling all the time.

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goodness

Sunset in the West

In Silver Lake, when looking west, the sun often sets the sky on fire, the horizon set ablaze under an ocean of warm blue.

ablaze

Tonight, looking east, I was struck dumb by the cold beauty of the evening’s colors: Eucalyptus trees with warm, smoldering bark, become watchful and patient at sunset, gently moving, eyeing dusty indigo mountains under a cool, expanding autumn sky.

sunset 2

My iPhone camera could never do them justice.  Such beauty.

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goodness, humor

Friendship looks like this

Diminutive Friend is my best friend, and will likely always be my best friend.  She’s just the best.  In case anyone needed proof, here it is:

geordi has some pretty wicked moves though, no joke

geordi has some pretty wicked moves though, no joke

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uncategorized

Kiss me, you ugly bastard

Saw this the other day and was very pleased that gifs play on a loop.  So cute.

(and because gifs are spotty on WordPress for some reason, enjoy it here if the below doesn’t load.)

is there a cuter gif on the internet (that doesn't include animals)? I think not

is there a cuter gif on the internet (that doesn’t include animals)? I think not

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goodness, humor, martial arts

The beginning of a beautiful friendship

I went to lunch after yesterday’s Sunday class with Senior Ecuador, Dojo Happa, Oppa Sensei and his girlfriend, Slender (who is awesome, btw, and seems to be an endearing mixture of clever-minded and childish interests).  Oppa Sensei is loads of fun, and we all love hanging out with him.  He mentioned a Youtube series called Enter the Dojo, which is a spoof about a made-up deadliest martial art (Ameri-do-te, lol), and sent us a link via email last night.  I responded with this:

meme-tastic

meme-tastic

And a link to the ‘know your meme’ site to explain it to those who don’t live on the internet like I do.  Senior Ecuador (who is hilarious, btw) came back with this:

I saw the first episode…pretty funny Oppa-sensei! I will definitely watch more when I am not at work haha. 
And tigerlilytoph…that’s like my favorite meme. http://www.reddit.com/r/supershibe
So amaze. What coincidence.
.
Naturally, I could not help but burst out laughing while standing at my desk.  So I came back with:
.
So glad the boss wasn’t around to hear me burst out laughing at that.  Thanks, Senior Ecuador.  Very fun.  Much friendship.
.
So yeah, I like where this friendship is going 🙂
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goodness, life, martial arts, school

The rapid-fire beauty of October

This past October was insanely busy.  I wanted so badly to write a post about the pumpkin carving and all the pumpkin-themed food and drink I’ve been making and enjoying, and all the awesome friendships that have been developing for me lately.  October was amazing, actually.

I invited a ton of people to the pumpkin carving and got about 50 people, including a bunch of foreign students who had never experienced Halloween pumpkin carving shenanigans of any kind.  Success!  Their pumpkins were awesome!  There was one Japanese woman who I befriended when she got lost on campus looking for her husband’s law school orientation who came to carve with her husband and a friend in tow.  They were amazed by the others’ pumpkins, and when I mentioned that I knew what sugoi means (amazing) due to watching so much anime, that’s all they could say, lol.  There were a bunch of different circles of friends there, and they all mingled well (although whenever my family comes, they tend to sequester themselves in the kitchen, which they did this time too… *sigh*).

the results of a successful visit to the pumpkin patch

the results of a successful visit to the pumpkin patch

The party was fantastic.  I made a huge pot of pumpkin drink and left it on the stove for people to enjoy.  It was empty by the end of the night.  There were two dozen carved pumpkins in all, I can’t believe I didn’t get any photos!  I was sick and too busy hosting and enjoying everyone’s company.  Of course there were a couple board games going on at once (Zombicide and Betrayal at House on the Hill).  A bunch of my friends from the dojo came and played Betrayal (and beat the haunt by cheating, lol).  It’s so great to hang out with them outside of the dojo, and apparently this is a new development.  Once most of them had left, Dojo Happa and I stood around chatting by the front door while a large group played Cards Against Humanity on the floor next to the piano.  We were chatting about how nice it is to see everyone outside the dojo, and he said, “Yeah, it’s awesome, we didn’t use to do that.  It’s because of you.  Oppa Sensei didn’t used to come out like this, now he comes to everything.  He was at the pumpkin patch, he came out tonight, he comes out to eat with us.  He’s not doing that to see me, it’s you!”  We laughed about my tendency to bring people together and make people laugh.  He seemed really appreciative, and it’s so nice to hear in so many words what I try so hard to do.  I really enjoy their company.  One of them (Senior Ecuador) invited a group of us to his parents’ house in the valley after the pumpkin patch to have a late lunch/early dinner of mostly Ecuadorian food with his folks, who could not have been nicer.  Earlier in the month, I had him over to get drunk and watch Hansel & Gretel, which wasn’t actually as bad as we expected.  He and Boyfriend actually kinda liked it, but they’re idiots, it was total trash 🙂

The founder of the martial arts style I’m studying now (Kaiso) had his 65th birthday party mid-month, and although it was expensive, it was a really fun time to see everyone dressed up and happy.  We had sushi and really good shabu shabu, and some amazing cake and green tea ice cream (which I got totally busted for scarfing down before we all had to leave in a rush to walk Kaiso to the valet and see him safely off).

I had a bunch of presentations and projects due within the last two weeks of the month, which coincided perfectly with the huge event my office hosts every year where thousands of people visit campus to participate in our programming, so that was pretty stressful, but I’m either getting awesome at handling stress, or getting better at handling my work load because October wasn’t nearly as emotionally/mentally draining as I thought it would be (though it felt super rushed all the time).  Also I was sick for the first time since I quit Karate Job.  Worst.  Timing.  Ever.

So... something to shoot for at next year's pumpkin carving

So… something to shoot for at next year’s pumpkin carving

A couple days after the pumpkin carving party, I went to a Danny Elfman Concert with Diminutive Friend and German Friend, which was amazing.  Although I’m not a huge fan of concerts, since there’s not much to come away with other than the music, which I already have access to and enjoy whenever I want.  Still, it was Danny Elfman’s first concert in something like two decades, so it was very exciting.  Loads of people in the crowd dressed up in what can only be described as a hodgepodge of steampunk, goth, circus, Halloween gear, and they all looked great.  And I kinda lost my shit when Danny Elfman came out and sang, “There are few who deny at what I do I am the best, for my talents are renowned far and wide…”  I knew he would sing that first!  And not just because it’s Jack’s first song in Nightmare Before Christmas, but because those lyrics are perfect for a comeback concert!

Then a couple days after that was Halloween!  I gave a presentation for one of my classes (in full costume, of course-Ren Faire gear this year), then zoomed downtown to an old professor’s class to defend my work (which he loved so much, he’s been using it as an example for current and future classes) and ended up giving my final presentation from his class all over again.  The students asked some really good questions, and I even managed to quote from the article he drew from most and essentially based the class upon, and I cited the page number of the quote.  So yeah, I’m a fucking amazing academic, thanks for asking.

Afterward he and I went out for a drink and chatted for a couple hours about my life, what I’ve been doing, what I will do, and why I’m not staying in academia (he wants me to so badly).  Midway through our time at the bar, I thought, “This is what it must be like to have a mentor.  Someone who knows the framework of your life, and what you’re capable of, and then looks you in the eye and demands that you go further and continue to challenge your self.  This is amazing.”  It was also super intimidating, but he was satisfied at the end of the conversation that I was getting enough stimulation (I convinced him my friends are all geniuses who don’t get drunk for fun, and that Boyfriend has a great sense of humor and is fully capable of keeping up with me), and that my selflessness might not be such a crutch after all (“So explain this to me: You have this sense of giving, this selfless streak coursing through you, but your’e American, and Americans are selfish, so how does that work?  Where did that come from?”  We had a good laugh about that, but he was mostly serious).  I invited him to come see the beehive some time soon, and he seemed enthused.  He’s also stoked to write me a letter of recommendation, and he’s super fun to hang out with, so overall I’m feeling pretty lucky to have encountered him in my life.  We walked by the Mayan on the way back from the bar, and he seemed particularly tickled when I fist-bumped some guy dressed as Deadpool (and Deadpool enjoyed being recognized, of course).  Overall an amazing evening.

And now it’s November and I can finally relax.  I’m feeling less sick every day, I only have a couple more projects to do for school, there’s nothing crazy going on at work (aside from the non-existent job security, bleh), and Boyfriend’s three closest friends are randomly flying into town for four days toward the end of the month for no reason other than to bug him and have fun together.  They’re great people, I can’t wait to see them and watch Boyfriend disappear for a few days into that tight circle of friendship and love.

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badness, life

Grief coma

a staple of my childhood in Los Angeles

a staple of my childhood in Los Angeles

When someone I love dies, it feels like falling asleep. The volume gets turned down on almost everything, but my keys in the door are deafening because I know that, when I go inside, I’ll have to pretend I’m not asleep or else Boyfriend will worry, and I can’t handle babysitting his emotions and mine at the same time. When he is gone, I swim through the apartment, hovering, hardly breathing. Nothing moves, nothing reacts, but the chair seems almost offended when I sit down, so I stand, not knowing what to do, not caring because in a dream, these things don’t matter.

A friend sends me a link to an online comic with a skeleton. My eyebrows jump up and I exhale quickly through my nose in a spontaneous imitation of the beginnings of laughter, and then the heavy, slow-moving pall settles again; the dream returns, wraps itself around me, neutral and insulating, and the skeletons are just lines on a page.

That night I am a boulder with open eyes chiseled into its side, under a thin blanket in the dark, a long stone on an uneven mattress, and suddenly it occurs to me that I have been nudged toward awakening. My eyes crunch like gravel as I blink.  Do stones move?  No, I decide.  I shift.  Oh. Then, I decide, I am not a stone after all.

At the moment it means almost nothing. Months later, a friend will kick a magnolia seed pod into the street, and I will realize I did not move myself that evening. A set of poorly-assembled bones brushed against me, and the first sounds of my awakening whispered in the dark: fine-grit sandpaper finding a nail, a match that won’t light, a bony finger drifting across a human-shaped stone.  I’ll watch the seeds scatter and bounce across the blacktop and wonder, was there a moment when I started waking up?  Yes, I decide.  That was it.

 

 

[for the record, this is my memory of dealing with grief.  I haven’t experienced this in a few years]

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badness, work

You! Stop laughing! This is a place of work!

Last Friday, I came to work to find a large, flat box stored next to my work area (nearly blocking the door to another coworker’s office).  Some quick investigation uncovered its origins: the box held a white board that another office had ordered, but the person who ordered it very cleverly did so just before going on vacation.  I discovered that he assumed someone else would, in his absence, haul it across campus where it belongs.  Naturally, that didn’t happen because no one should be expected to carry around someone else’s crap.  Nor is my work space a storage area for other people’s poorly planned deliveries.  What to do?

As the only member of my division without a personal office (I have a cubicle), I try to make the best out of weird situations that arise from having a desk with only three walls.  Like when the area around my desk is used for storage.  For large, flat boxes, for example.  So I did what I thought just about anyone would do: I made a fourth wall so I could have a damn office, too.

the white poster board has a sign that says "please knock"

the white poster board has a sign that says “please knock”

Fridays are quiet in this office.  The students are sleeping in/hung over.  People dress more casually.  The TGIF is strong with this office, and the boss was out of the office that day (unbeknownst to me).  So I’m  finding it hard to believe that propping up a cardboard box for less than an hour as a joke prompted several (if Little Mole Boss is to be believed) of my coworkers from other departments to complain to LMB that I was behaving “unprofessionally” (because the people in charge of the students have nothing but professional conversations to and about said students in within earshot of anyone who might pass through… ahem) and “antisocially” (because people from other divisions come talk to me all the time when I’m not “unprofessionally” putting up cardboard boxes with post-its that read “please knock”).  In fact, MORE people approached me for a quick, friendly chat specifically because of the cardboard box than ever had.

Now, I’d be the last person to say that placing a cardboard box across your cubicle should be filed under “professional behavior,” but I’m having trouble picturing the conversation that happens about this that includes words like “antisocial” and “offended.”  Why was that box even there in the first place?  It was out of sight, out of mind as far as those who should have taken care of it were concerned, even if that means putting it in someone else’s way.  Once I’d had my fun, someone thought to move it into the office responsible for it, so why wasn’t it put there in the first place?  This has taught me that I need to use harmless shenanigans to keep people from abusing my desk area, and that the only result is a stern talking-to from my boss (who emphasized, again, that the division is being reorganized, and that we can’t do stuff like this: we’re being watched!), plus one other thing…

She pulled me into her office Monday morning and asked, “So… what happened Friday?”  I was clueless that there had been any negative reactions to said shenanigans, given that I had only heard positive responses (and frankly, I had forgotten all about it).  Once she felt she had impressed upon me the severity of my offense (and reminded me of it), she asked how we should go about fixing it.  I sat, dumbfounded, and finally offered, “Well… I could write an apologetic email to the offended departments…”  She said I should write one to the entire division.

OVERKILL

OVERKILL

I don’t even know where to start here.
-Why didn’t the offended parties discuss this with me?  It’s not sexual harassment, it’s a fucking CARDBOARD BOX.
-Why did my boss take this complaint seriously?  She wasn’t there to see it, and just assumed it was offensive.
-An apology to the entire division?  Really?  This was such a huge offense that every single member of my office and every other office that passes though here has to hear about something maybe a dozen people saw?  Really?

I’m torn.  Do I write this email, or just hope that LMB forgets about it?  I’m really, really not interested in writing it, mostly because all it will do is send the message that I’m at the mercy of people with no sense of humor, which is humiliating and demoralizing.  I want to work in an office where people treat each other like people.  Assuming I have to write this email, I’m tempted to go about it in one of two ways: take it WAY too seriously, thereby making the whole thing sound as ridiculous as it is, or point out gently that a sense of humor is necessary when working with students, and that the apparent necessity of apologizing for the offensiveness of a cardboard box is silly.

So.  I’m even closer to being fired now, and even less interested in trying to preserve my position.  Why would I want to work here if people are so easily offended but too childish to talk about it?  Also, my school load is brutal this month, the several-thousand person event we’re hosting is happening in just three weeks, I’m trying to get organized for the pumpkin carving I’m hosting at the end of the month, keeping up with Shinkendo classes is becoming nearly impossible, and the pain from the muscle spasm apparently gets markedly worse when I menstruate (THANKS, UTERUS).  And Kaiso’s 65th bday party is in a couple weeks, and it’ll be an $80 dinner.  So.  No pressure.

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goodness, life

Raptor on campus

I drew a picture of a red-tailed hawk as a kid with great pride

I drew a picture of a red-tailed hawk as a kid with great pride

When I was a kid, my dad got his falconer’s license, and I could not have been more excited.  He even built a little shack behind the garage in which to house the bird(s).  It was all very cool, but nothing ever came of it and I’m afraid to ask him about it in case it brings up a sense of regret for not being able to follow through and get a hawk or falcon of some kind.

Dad did a great job of instilling a deep love and respect for birds of prey, especially barn owls, red-tailed hawks and cooper’s hawks; both hawks are native to California, and I see red-tails on a fairly regular basis.  In fact, they go circling around the small dell outside the house above Silver Lake, and cry out spectacularly now and then, which always sends me rushing to an upstairs window.

flawless

flawless

Today, I was walking on campus toward work when a hawk landed right in my path about 30 feet away.  I froze, and it hopped a little closer toward a puddle on the floor.  It took a couple sips before some idiot came blundering up behind me and scared it up into a tree.  I watched it for a while longer as it flew from tree to tree and texted Dad in case he was walking to work then too, and could come by and admire it with me.  I gave him a call just as it swooped not two feet over my head from one side of the parking lot to the other, so cool!  It looked me right in the eye, and I got a really solid look at its bright yellow legs.

Definitely the best start to a work day I’ve had, possibly ever.  Unfortunately, I knew at that moment that my day had peaked, and would only get more dull.  Oh well.  That’s something to add to the stuff I’ll have on my little farm some day: a raptor pen!

seated above me, surveying the puny humans below

seated above me, surveying the puny humans below

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