Monthly Archives: October 2010
So… this is embarrassing to admit, but there have been several times when I have the feeling that if a cartoon character were to come to life, I would totally hit on him. I’m not talking about a common cartoon crush or whatever. I mean… crap, what do I mean…?
It must be the whole package I’m drawn to; the environment the character is in, the simplicity of the rules, and so on. No homeless people, no menstruating, no bad haircuts, none of that crap. This must be what it’s like to have a crush on a celebrity after watching a movie.
And so, without further ado, before I blush myself into oblivion, my list of cartoon dudes I would seduce the shit out of were I given two dimensions of a chance (and the show/movie they’re featured in):
Hatake Kakashi (Naruto)- I’ll never be cool enough for this guy. Boys and girls all over Japan agree: Kakashi is the coolest. Also, a pervert.
Vash the Stampede (Trigun)- Vash is so broken and innocent. I want to take care of him. Among other things.
Spike (Cowboy Beebop)- He’s the best at what he does. His intelligence and physical skill make him a highly desirable mate. What? I’m just saying…
Ashitaka (Princess Mononoke)- What can I say about this guy? He’s the outdoorsy type, the prince of his clan, he’s quick, courageous, animals trust him, and he’s voiced by Dr. Manhattan (that last part doesn’t actually do anything for me. Trivia!)
Needless to say all of these characters are a bit damaged, because who wants a man without a past? Not me, sister. They’re also drawn with special attention, none of that HUGE ANIME EYES baloney. Don’t get me wrong, their hair is all ridiculous, but that’s how anime distinguishes one character from another. I’m over it.
Maru the cat lives in an apartment in Japan with an owner who has done the rest of us the favor of encouraging his eccentricities, filming them, and putting them all over YouTube. If you’ve been stressing about the complete lack of watching a fat cat do a sliding dive into an empty box, let me put you at ease. Maru is a big, fat, adorable sweetheart that will win over dog-lovers everywhere by intentionally cramming himself into tiny, lidded trash bins, and sliding comically out from under couches on his back.