Monthly Archives: May 2011

Functional, hideous

Yes, it’s time to revisit my zobo apocalypse preparedness kit.  I carry a flashlight around in my purse at all times (used it in Big Bear over the weekend!), my pantry is full of Bush’s baked beans (friggin’ delicious), and now I’ve finally found a sleeping bag that will allow me to run for my fucking life at the drop of a hat.

pictured: a daffodil fires his agent

…not to mention make me look like a radioactive tampon.  The LeppiSelk Bag has finally found a cure for all those sexy camping trips: make a sleeping bag that can literally only fit one person.  And the yellow one is the only way to go.  How else with the rescue choppers find me (if they come at all)?  They even have little booties!  Adorable!

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Meditation consternation

I started my Kung Fu training about six months ago, and received a brown sash this month.  It’s a big deal.  I’m one of maybe five brown sashes in the entire school.  I’m trying not to stress too much about it, the burden of being a leading female in a hard core martial arts school (again), and so far, so good.  It’s a title I’m used to holding, just not in a group of almost strangers.  I’m doing well so far, making friends, keeping my mouth shut when I should–mostly (still perfecting that one)–and taking constructive criticism with open ears and a grin.

plus, if I try meditating when I wake up, I pass out

One aspect of the training I’m still getting used to is the constant meditation; 10 minutes per day, sitting in a specific posture, utilizing specific breathing exercises, etc.  It’s not difficult but it takes some planning, and life tends to try to get in the way.  So far the biggest obstacle isn’t finding the time, it’s forcing myself not to eat/drink before and after.  You’d think I could just overeat beforehand to take care of the allotted no-eating/drinking-time that precedes and follows meditation, but you’d be wrong.  When you have a metabolism like a hummingbird, eating every couple hours becomes essential, lest that wold-class tantrum that’s been building up behind these gentle hazel eyes finally gets unleashed.  In which case, good luck, unbroken bones of the people around me, it’s been nice knowin’ ya.


It’s code for rom-com

Boyfriend and I have been dating for just over three years now, and we’re still very much in love.  This is new for me.  Usually I leave after about two years.  I guess when people say, “The magic was gone,” maybe that’s what happened in my past relationships.  I just wasn’t in love anymore.  I wasn’t as happy as I knew I could be.  So I left.  Imagine my surprise when anniversary number two came and went without any change between Boyfriend and me.  Our love stayed strong, and I’m happy.

One night when Boyfriend came home late from work, he tip-toed over to where I was fast asleep to say hi before getting ready for bed.  This is common for us; to prioritize a loving greeting before all else.  Of course, I was notorious for talking my sleep at the time, and was completely passed out.  Boyfriend’s hands are usually cold, and I’ve always been known to generate heat at an alarming rate.  So when he touched my face and hand that night, I apparently reacted in typical sleep-talking girlfriend fashion: I said, “No no, frozen pizza, no.”  Then I insisted that “Pizza goes in the oven,” and put his ice-cold hand against my white-hot stomach, and pulled my shirt down over it, encasing his hand in my own personal furnace-tummy.

Thus were our pet names born: He is Pizza, I am Oven.

with anchovies and green olives

He left town today for a great job, and he’ll be gone for two weeks.  I’m really proud of him.  He’s going to make it, and he deserves to.  Meanwhile, though, I miss him pretty bad.  I always cry when he leaves for a job, even if it’s only for a few days.  The act of separating is what’s so hard for me.  Being apart is pretty lame too, but I’ve always been good at entertaining myself.  He says he loves me because I’m strong.  I cried when we said goodbye this morning.  I can’t help it.  I love my Pizza.


Now with the begging

It occurred to me recently that I have to start living like a student soon because I’ll be completing my application to graduate school.  I need to start being super frugal like I used to be, but I also must have a bitchin’ Renaissance Faire costume for next year.  I have one year to find $1,000.

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Ren Faire costume!

optional hood? YOU BET

I went to the Renaissance Faire with friends last weekend.  So much fun.  Now I need to get a real costume instead of just pairing that bodice I have with a tank top and long skirt.

Which means I’d have to start working nights as a security guard, because those costumes are really, really expensive.  I’ve been eying this little number (pictured) from Ravenswood Leather for a ranger-type costume, something tough but feminine, because that whole damsel look is pretty but just not me at all.

I’d have this stuff forever, too.  Every Halloween I don’t want to wear the full dog-suit costume, BAM! I whip out the Ren Faire getup instead.  It’s a totally foolproof plan.


Stuart Smalley is now a state senator; time to get off my ass and think positive

I had an interesting conversation with Diminutive Roommate the other night.  She mentioned that I always seemed confident in myself.  I corrected her immediately.  I don’t always speak up when I should, which bothers me a lot.  I have to correct myself often when I have thoughts like, “I’ll never be as good at this as her,” which happened most commonly at my old real estate job (and it was true).  I had that thought tonight at Kung Fu.  Watching the way the instructor moves when he’s instructing, doing the techniques at 10% speed is so educational.  The essence of the technique comes out, and I think, I’ll never be as good as him at this.  Ever.  Oh well.

a machine that thinks. also known as "Skynet."

I really, really need to stop thinking like that.  Who the fuck am I helping?  I get these thoughts during the cardio workout class there, too.  But it occurred to me tonight that I jumped into that cardio class after years of doing zero training or working out of any kind.  And I’m doing an awesome job keeping up.  A small group of students have become kinda friends, and they really appreciate the extra experience I bring to the studio.  So SUCK IT, LIFE.  I will stop silently putting myself down all the time.

I told the instructor that I think I’ll have all the material for white, yellow and orange sashes mastered in a week, which is true, I think.  I’ll just have to practice every day, especially at the dojo.  I can do this.  One piece at a time, I will master kung fu like I mastered tae kwon do and hap ki do.  I’m good at this.  I can do it.


My old friend, science fiction

I love Science Fiction as a genre for the same reason I love anime: There are no limits.  Anything is possible.  Who wouldn’t love that?  It’s not just for science/computer/gamer geeks and nerds.  Science tears down the walls within our minds and builds roads to the horizon.

I love you, too, Isaac Asimov

A few of my favorites:

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card- Kids!  It’s about kids!  Show it to your kid!  It’s an amazing book for adults, but it’s about kids, so kids eat it up.  Synopsis: In a world where the Earth is at war with an alien race of “buggers,” our last hope is the children bred to have the qualities of great military leaders.  One boy, Ender, is clever and reluctant to fight, but shows promise…

The Red Planet by Robert A. Heinlein- My first trip to Mars, courtesy of one of the pioneers of novel-length science fiction.

Dune by Frank Herbert- Such a fantastic book.  I re-read it a few years ago, and I’ll read it again soon.  A strange new world where water is scarce means constant skirmishes with the natives who turn out to have more secrets and power than anyone dared imagine.  It falls to a young prince to follow his father’s example of generosity and strength to lead the people, prevent war, and rule an entire planet, or perish. (also, this)

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle- This book was a must-read by kids in my elementary school, and it messed with our brains.  For example, it featured fantastic creatures who gave visions of twelve-dimensional shapes to children, then explained how time travel was achieved by “wrinkling” the fabric of space/time, stepping across the wrinkle, then smoothing out the fabric.  At age ten, I was thoroughly impressed.  I need to re-read this; it’s been too long.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Heinlein- I like the ideas in this (a human raised on Mars as a Martian, brought back to Earth with fantastic abilities), but can’t get over the lack of strong female characters, and the way the women are treated, as caretakers and comforters.  Women aren’t made of moms and blankets, we’re people.  It’s the era in which it was written… very hippy-driven, free love, which means the men get laid all the time, and the women too, but the women tend not to have any power.  But he was strongly against racism, and wrote minority characters often, which is awesome.


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