goodness, life

I am a Professional Citizen

Yesterday I had adventures!

i like to think Steve Jobs would be proud

I had to drive all the way across town from where I’m now living with Boyfriend in Silverlake to my old place in Marina del Rey to give my apartment keys to Teacher Roommate, so she could hand them in today.  When I got in the elevator, I discovered a piece of gray luggage, unzipped, so I took a peek inside and found men’s clothing, some fancy cowboy boots, and an iPad.  An iPad?!  Why yes, an iPad.  I waited in the elevator for about five minutes waiting for the owner to come back and breathlessly exclaim, “Whew, it’s still here, I almost forgot my bag!”  But no.  So I took it into the apartment with me to keep it safe, at which point I got a phone call from Teacher Roommate.  “Heyyyyyy, can you help me with somethiiiiiiiiing?”  She had found herself in a typical sitom scenario after accidentally dropping her keys into the dumpster.

gross, smelly success!

I took the elevator back downstairs to the garage, found an old towel to drape over the edge of the dumpster, laid a recycling bin on its side, and watched the hilarity ensue (and took pictures, of course).  Back upstairs, we spackled up some holes, I grabbed whatever I had left there, plus the mysterious luggage, and drove away.  I reached the freeway before I realized that I had forgotten to pass of my keys to Teacher Roommate.

After pulling U-boat and correcting my lapse in memory, I jumped on the freeway and managed to make it all the way downtown before encountering my next adventure: a car stopped in the right lane on the interchange between the 110-N and the 101-N.  I pulled over, followed by a bright  green Jeep.  A guy in his early/mid-twenties got out of the Jeep and said he saw someone slumped over the wheel.  “Woah!  Is he dead?” I asked, pointlessly.  We went over to investigate, and with a few loud, EXCUSE-ME-SIR’s, managed to rouse him.  The old car was still running with this old man literally asleep at the wheel.  I walked over to the driver’s side, mindful of the oncoming cars, and told the guy to put it in park, which he did (with some difficulty).  I had just told him to scoot over when floodlights lit us up from behind: the cops had arrived!

i’m gonna pretend they looked like Erik Estrada from CHiPs

They unceremoniously told me to get out of the road (and rightfully so), which I did.  They got the guy out of his car and pulled the car onto the shoulder.  I told the man to step back from the road, and sit down, which he did, like a drunk.  I gave one cop my contact info and a quick rundown of what happened (not much) while the other cop chatted with the old man.  The cop (who was CHP I think, given the khaki uniform, right?) thanked me for pulling over, and wished me a good night.

I do stuff like this all the time.  If I see a broken down car, I push it.  If someone looks lost walking around, I stop and try to help them.  When I see a kitten, bleeding to death in the road, I rescue it and nurse it back to health.  Helping people (and kittens, apparently, but that’s new), makes me feel awesome.  It makes the day worth while, no matter what else has happened.

And THAT is why I am a Professional Citizen 🙂

UPDATE: I found the owner of the iPad’s phone number in his email signature when I attempted to email myself from the iPad so I could contact him somehow.  I left him a message last night before going to bed, and got a call back today!  He said thanks, and we’re still figuring out when he can come by to pick up his bag of stuff.

And just for the record, this is still going to happen.

goodness, humor

MS Paint, my first love

My coworker (let’s call her Hollywood Coworker for her constant mention of how she used to “work in the industry,” and watches a lot of TV) often laments (read: hates) being older than the college students we’re inevitably surrounded by (working on a college campus and all), and the other day was no different.  I told her how a lot of my childhood drawings were done on MS Paint, and showed her my favorite new drawing tool: crayon!  She complained about how she used to use actual crayon, and how it’s so much better (having never used MS Paint).  So I decided to show her the ropes.  Then this happened:

“Ok, guess what I’m drawing.”

that’s it

“… alligator.”


Seriously, how did she know?  This cracked me up.  OH LIFE.

UPDATE: This website dedicated to using MS Paint is adorable.

goodness, life, manfolk, school

No rest for the awesome

I haven’t had time to write a new post recently due to too much awesome shit happening to/around me.  Let me just put down some quick updates on every relevant topic.

so cute, i’m so proud of her

Old Home, New Owner
Diminutive Roommate has received a sideways-promotion to Diminutive Friend, due to her purchase of a house in the valley.  She moved in and started tearing up some truly hideous shag carpet and disco linoleum to show some beautiful wood floors underneath, and has plans to install central air (because it’s the valley, duh).  She’s excited, but was worried about living alone (since I won’t be able to move in with her after all).  But it turns out our other friend is moving in with her because of lame roommate problems.  Let’s call her Busy/Genius Friend depending on the situation, because she’s wicked smart, but cannot arrive anywhere on time, nor make solid plans due to keeping way too busy.  She’s also a really hard worker and very resourceful, so she’ll help Diminutive Friend improve the house like crazy, which is awesome.  I’m gonna help out too, if I ever get my life back.  We’re all pretty excited for her, can’t wait to harass her over there with board games and sleepovers 🙂


our tea collection is unrivaled

Moving in With a Handsome Man
I’m moving in with Boyfriend!  He’s been living in his grandfather’s house (now that his grandfather has passed away) for the past two years or so rent-free.  His family is allowing me to move in for $600 rent since I’m a student (which is very generous of them, knowing I’ve been paying $850 at my old place).  I’ve basically been staying at the house for the last month to get used to the idea of living here with permanence so it’s not a system shock to either of us (so far so good; Boyfriend keeps saying stuff like, “This is fun!  It’s fun having you here all the time.  This is gonna be great.“).  All the heavy lifting has been done by Boyfriend and dad (hutch to my folks’ place, refrigerator to rental garage near Highland, bookcase and bed and white bookshelf  at the house).  We finished taking just about everything this past weekend.  Moving is awesome because it’s a great way to purge myself of crap I haven’t used in a while.  I long for a simple life, but I can’t seem to get rid of a lot of stuff because they all come with memories I can’t bear to part with, or they’re things I’ll be proud to show off to my future friends/kids, or I need those damn clothes for work, etc.

i made this

Graduate School (or Why I Have No Life)
My first semester of graduate school is winding down (just two weeks left) and winding up (three papers and a video due within two weeks).  I haven’t been able to fall asleep without lying awake for two hours first.  My mind won’t slow down.  I can’t seem to calm myself down about school.  I have so much reading to do on top of the assignments, I seem to spend all my time trying to get them done before class that I’m worried I won’t have time to write papers or make time for friends.  I’m always wishing I had gotten more done.  I’ve started reminding myself while I lie awake that I’m doing my best (which is true, I’m going to beat the shit out of this grad school program), and because of that, I am allowed to sleep.  It doesn’t seem to be helping much, but I’ll keep trying.

“i fell.”

Zombie Kitten
I picked up the kitten I rescued from the vet on July 25th, and he’s been living at Boyfriend’s house ever since.  He’s HILARIOUS.  We both wish we could keep him, but Boyfriend’s family says we can’t have a pet here at the house 😦  Boyfriend and I  are super sad about it.  We’re pretty attached to him, he’s so funny.  He loves falling asleep on our laps, purrs super loud (he purred in my lap for a solid hour today), and chases after a laser pointer like his life depends on it.  He’s also really chatty, which can get annoying, especially during class when he circles my chair and whines about not being on my lap, then attempts to jump onto my lap but can’t quite make it, so he digs his razor-sharp claws into my legs (I’m still healing from the last four attempts).  That’s not so much fun.  Otherwise he’s awesome, and we’re sad to have to get rid of him.  The good news is that I found a nice person to take him 🙂  Now all we have to do is make friends with this person so we can come visit Zobo all the time, hahaha.

goodness, humor

Meme, redeemed

i lol’d

I was sick of the “Call Me Maybe” situation as soon as it started.  I still can’t figure out why this song got so much attention, it’s so average.  I think the fact that everyone was nuts about it made me hate it even more.  It’s only hilarious stuff like the guy who wrote on the windshield of a filthy car in my garage that redeems annoying memes like this.

And then I saw this video, which made me love this song for the first time after months of hearing (and hating) it.  It also reminded me that humans are awesome, if for no other reason then because we do stuff like this.  Also, landing on Mars recently.  That was pretty epic.

goodness, work

Bitter Haiku: Conflict edition

the elusive mole boss surface to ask for TPS reports

I was stuck in a dinner meeting in March of 2011, and just found the poems I wrote about it.  They’re not all haikus, but they’re all hilarious.  Classic.
[I changed some names to maintain some semblance of anonymity]

The dining hall is nothing but class,
intimidating chandeliers above.
George and Laura prep themselves for sass
from parents who have stopped feeling the love.

There were some very unhappy parents in the crowd due to some changes in the by-laws.  These meetings are typically long and dull, so this one turned out to be my favorite of all time.  Everyone made good arguments, and it was awesome to see a governing body functioning like a governing body instead of the fat, self-important, self-serving, unproductive lump it seems like most of the year.

Now dinner’s out; it’s chicken with a glaze,
and something that resembles broccoli.
New parents find and fix me with their gaze,
but I stare at my plate innocently.

Dinner was delicious, and the parents at my table seemed hell-bent on asking me questions I didn’t know the answers to.  “Does my student need a waiver to sign up for the insurance if they’re a minor?”  “Can I send care packages to my student via UPS instead of FedEx?”  “Can I park on campus without a pass on weekends?”  It’s all stuff I know now (no, yes, and no respectively), but I had just started about six months prior, and after two years, I still get stumped occasionally.

Ruth is in charge of damage control!
Unhappy parents’ words pound like a drum.
She closes her eyes and becomes a mole
at the presidential podium.

My boss (who we’ll call Ruth) has this hilarious habit of closing her eyes for a socially inappropriate amount of time when answering questions, or discussing an uncomfortable topic, during which my coworkers usually shoot each other bemused glances.  The first time I saw it happen, Ruth (aka Little Mole Boss) put her head down on the table where we had our meeting, and left it there for a solid… I’m gonna say 30-45 seconds.  I looked to my coworkers for a sign that she was still conscious while they giggled silently at my obvious confusion and disbelief.  She is a good boss, but everyone has strange tendencies that entertain others.  That is Little Mole Boss’ strange tendency, and namesake.