I don’t have many regrets about my life so far. I probably should have gone straight to graduate school from college instead of trying my hand in the working world (retail, bleh), but then I wouldn’t have had the chance to teach martial arts to kids, which has been predictably hilarious, and surprisingly rewarding. I used to fantasize about teaching martial arts for a living, and now I do it. I would not have been able to apply to the MAT program at Office Job without paying tuition. I love teaching my foreign friends better English, and to think that I might also be able to do that for a living in the future is really exciting. And so on. So my biggest regret has also provided me with great opportunities.
Having said that, there is one thing I regret that I cannot rectify in the near future: I should have dyed my hair more. I have dark brown hair, so it’s easy to dye it subtly. I look at students who dye their hair and I think, “Why didn’t I do more of that? That looks awesome!” It’s such a harmless, fun change to make on yourself, like crazy makeup. In college I dyed the inside curtain of my hair jet black, and I dyed the outer curtain’s tips a light pink. It looked bizarre and fantastic. I loved it. I wish I had done more of that. Every time I see purple or red dye on a shelf, I think, “One day, one day…” Of course, I can’t do it now with Office Job, and after that it’s job interviews for teaching jobs. But after that I’ll be in my 30s, and dying my hair purple will seem… forced. But if I still have the urge, you’d better believe my dark brown hair will have a subtle red streak running through it at some point. I already have a natural solid gray streak in the works (which I love).
I think the core of the issue is that I miss having the freedom to change my appearance to something outside the norm. Everyone looks the same here at Office Job. We all wear clothes we don’t really like to conform to an image of “office attire,” uncomfortable shoes, boring, drab colors, recycled looks and compliments. It’s such a shame! I’m not saying we don’t look nice, or that I hate my Office Job clothes (some of the clothes I bought for this job have encouraged me to dress more stylishly which is fun and new for me). I’m saying I don’t want to have to put on the worker bee mask every day I work here. Dull, dull, dull. Give me something to look forward to!