goodness, humor

Oh, the Japanese

one seriously pansy-ass mascot

I discovered recently that the Japanese police force has a mascot.  I imagine the conversation between some Ladypants reporter and some Suit in charge of Public Relations would go something like this:

.
Ladypants: Every major corporation needs some good PR now and again. How should one go about attaining said PR?
Suit: Well, one way of doing that is to assume an adorable mascot to prance around and misrepresent our vicious company as a sweet, friendly animal.
L: But what if you’re the police?
S: …I don’t understand the question.
L: I’m just saying, it’s fine for a business to use some cute little animal to trick kids into thinking they’re harmless, but the police don’t want to achieve the same goal, so…
S: Wait, which police are we talking about here?
L: Uh… what?
S: Have you ever been to Japan?
L: No.
S: Oh. Well their law enforcement mascot is just PRECIOUS.
L: …Excuse me?
S: Seriously, they’ve done such a great job at emasculating themselves over there. It’s like they’re not even police officers any more. They’re like children dressing up for Halloween. People keep candy in their purses to throw into the windows of passing cop cars.
L: …You’re kidding.
S: Kinda. But their mascot is pretty cute, though.
L: Why would the police need a mascot?
S: …I don’t understand the question.
L: OK, WE’RE DONE HERE.

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