goodness, martial arts

Sucker Punch

There’s this movie coming out, Sucker Punch.  It could be amazing.  The main and central supporting characters are all women.  They’re armed with various guns, axes, swords, and huge imaginations, and supposedly do some really cool stuff with all of them.

ComiCon, you have your next costume contest

Like I said, it could be amazing.

It’s directed by the same guy who did 300 and Watchmen (Zach Snyder), both of which I found visually tingling, if a bit overdone.

So here are the parts where it could suck.  It’s easy to confuse these for reasons it might be awesome, so try to focus:

-Fire-breathing dragons

-An army of bad guys in gas masks

-Giant, gatling gun-wielding samurai robot

-Zeppelins

-An evil stepfather

Bear in mind, all of these things are presumably defeated by a tiny, non-muscular woman armed with nothing but a samurai sword, a skimpy sailor costume and copious amounts of peroxide to keep that hair looking fabulously, naturally blonde.

If it works out, I’m going to see it with some martial artist friends of mine.  Naturally, we’ll all be pissed we weren’t cast for this, given our extensive training and dashing good looks.  I’m not even an actress, and I can tell you right now… nah, never mind, who the fuck wants to be an actress?  Acting is hard.  No, wait: good acting is hard.  Doing an action sequence over and over while having the right expression on your face must be exhausting and downright challenging.  So fuck it, I wish all these ladies the very best.

Still, I work with some pretty beautiful, talented martial artist/actresses.  Sure would be nice if someone hired someone with a martial arts background to do an action movie for once.

PLEASE SEND ALL JOB OFFERS TO TIGERLILYTOPH@GMAIL.COM

KTHXBAI!!!1!

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