Moral compass

I’m really glad I started this blog.  From a young age, I had a strong sense of preserving the history of my family, of which I am, of course, a part.  My children or nieces or nephews will (perhaps) find this record of the minutiae of my life and, I hope, feel the love I feel for them already in the bright-eyed anticipation I feel for my own future.

It strikes me, though, that if my offspring are eventually going to read all this, I should probably start posting about stuff that actually matters to give them a better idea of who I am, or at least what I believe.  So harken, young semi-replicas of my future-self!  Your ancestor’s compass points true north!

I also ate a light bulb once, but that's a story for another time

I stand up for myself
-My first day of pre-school, an older girl demanded a toy I was playing with.  I told her simply, “No,” and continued to play.  She cried, and never bothered me again.  Our teachers found it so funny, they told my folks about it.
-When I was ten years old, a girl got in my face and yelled at me for not inviting her to play with me and my friends.  I shoved her away, and told her not to yell at me.  Dad saw the whole thing and pulled me aside as if to punish me, but instead said, “Good job.  If someone’s in your face, you get them away from you.”

I stand up for others
-The day Proposition 8 was passed, I joined a mass of people in West Hollywood to protest.  We halted traffic and marched eastward on Santa Monica Boulevard until stopped by some cops.  They told us to get out of the intersection, and while some of us did, I stayed, chanted, took photos, and almost got arrested.
-A few years ago at In n Out, a man complained loudly and rudely to the staff that he wasn’t being served quickly enough compared to the drive-through.  When a worker apologized, he kept ranting.  I told the man that the workers were doing their best, the restaurant was very busy, and that he could just use the drive through next time.  He quieted down.
-A mother recently chastised her son sharply for not bringing his belt to karate class.  I reminded her that he was only four years old, and that it was her responsibility to bring his uniform.  I asked him if he could help his mom remember, then told her that her son was not in trouble.  She did not appreciate being contradicted in front of her son, but at four years old, he was incapable of standing up for himself.

I am kind
-Whenever I see a car stalled on the road, I look at the clock and think, “Do I have time to help this person?”  Most of the time, I stop regardless of the answer.
-I have to fight the compulsion to buy random little gifts for my friends constantly.

I am loving
-I spend a little while saying goodbye to Boyfriend every morning with kisses and snuggles.
-I give some of the best hugs ever.
-I have had to train myself to act more selfishly.  Boyfriend has helped with that enormously.

I don’t always succeed in personifying these mushy adjectives and beliefs, but I try.  It’s hard to think straight in the heat of the moment.  It takes constant practice to press pause and think, “What do I really want to do here?  What is my true goal?”  I’m a work in progress.

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About Toph Beifong

www.tigerlilytoph.com View all posts by Toph Beifong

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