Tag Archives: karate

martial arts, work

Easy now…

Let’s not spill hot tea on my white cashmere sweater two hours before my first performance review at Office Job, shall we?

I’m going to have to miss Kung Fu tonight (again) to practice karate moves with some sensei friends.  Turns out I’m being evaluated at Karate Job too, in two weeks.  I need to work on my self-defense and grappling.  Everything else should be pretty solid.  My form has always been excellent, but they’re also making sure I know how to teach all the moves, not just do them (an important distinction).  I’m feeling pretty good about it.  Except for the grappling.  Yikes.

i am not very good at grappling

The good news is that I remember something about a raise if my performance review at Office Job goes well.  And if I pass my evaluation at Karate Job, I definitely get a raise.  So this is all good stuff, it’s just stressful.  Plus the car, and Boyfriend, and Russian Neighbor, and I’m sure I could think of something else that was bothering me if I wasted time to complain some more.  But I’m gonna pass on that.  Doesn’t seem worth it.

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humor, martial arts, work

Open letter to dojo attendees

Dear Adult White Male(s),

Stop fucking with me. Do you want to learn martial arts, or not? That’s what I thought, so stop talking back. That, that right there, that’s what I’m talking about. You’re the student, I’m the instructor. That means I’m going to critique you and boss you around. It comes with the territory, but I’m a good teacher with no ego, so I’m not going to be a dick about it. Stop fighting me. And stop almost punching me in the face when I hold up a target in front of my chest, then try to justify it by saying that I told you to “aim for the chin.” YOUR chin. In the MIRROR. When you’re PRACTICING. Do I really need to tell you not to punch me in the face? I do? Fuck.

FYI, we’re not doing that again. Next time you’re in class, and I tell you to slow down, you’re going to slow the fuck down. Because you’re not doing it right, Adult White Male. You’re doing it wrong, and I’m trying to fix that, but your giant sense of privilege and big fat head are getting in the way.

Come to learn, or don’t come at all. There’s a reason I’m the instructor, and you’re not. Everyone gets that except you. Your attitude is boring and trite. Get over yourself. Being better than most of the class is not the equivalent of being good. Your technique is sloppy and rushed. You’re the worst kind of noob: the kind that thinks he’s not a noob. But you are. You are a giant noob with a big problem taking instruction. Get over it, or don’t enter the dojo at all.

Frankly,

Skilled Female Sensei

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