goodness, humor, life, nerd

My new career as a part-time smartass, perhaps

I wrote a review of Beautiful Creatures, the worst book on the planet, on amazon.com a couple of months ago and got a lot more (read: any) attention than I expected.  It served as my impetus to get on Goodreads.com, which is a fantastic book review website that I’m currently addicted to, and where I’ve made a couple of new friends due to the popularity of my Beautiful Creatures review.

artist rendition of me being a book reviewer

artist rendition of me being a book reviewer

I got another comment on my review today that read thusly:

Ok, so I haven’t read this book yet but when I do read reviews of books, I like to read the people who gave a bad review and discover why they didn’t like the book or what irritated them about it. I love your sense of humor with your review and how you go into detail about the specific parts of the book you didn’t enjoy. I am a writer and have recently self published my first young adult novel called Seeds of Eden. This is probably going to sound a little odd but I was wondering if you would read it and do an honest review of it. As an author I am still trying to find my reader base and connect with new readers. I can email you the epub version of my book if you would like to take a look at it. If you aren’t interested that is also fine, it’s up to you. Let me know what you think about this and get back to me! 
Here is the link for my book on amazon: Seeds of Eden (The Concilium Series)
You can also find it on Goodreads too! 

I was pretty dumbstruck.  Was this a tricky way for this person to get someone to buy her crappy $0.99 ebook on amazon, or was she actually, genuinely asking for a review?  I sat statue-still at my computer and thought, “Is this my first ever official request as a book reviewer?”  I’m choosing to think so because that’s awesome, and the book looks pretty awful and should be fun to hilariously critique, lol.  Still, I’m excited about it.  Kinda stupid-excited.

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humor

Shades of no-wait-nevermind

I almost died when I saw how Draw Something dealt with the 50 Shades of Grey craze: “shades of red, shades of yellow, shades of blue… GRAYSCALE PACKAGE” LOL

alternate: shades of light-ish black

alternate: shades of light-ish black

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goodness, nerd

Bilbo, my old friend

I first read The Hobbit at age 12.  I remember having it in my lap in my sixth grade classroom, sneaking peeks here and there while Mr. Miller wasn’t looking.  I couldn’t get through it fast enough.

There’s a lot of tension for whatever reason about the movie about to come out, as if it might suck (unlikely).  But if it isn’t amazing (unlikely), everyone (nerds) will be disappointed.  Spoiler alert: The movie is never as good as the book.  So I’m over it before it starts.  I’m in love with the book.  If there are pretty pictures to go with it, so be it.  I’ll consider it an addendum to my already awesome childhood memories of this book.

nothing can ruin this story for me, so stop trying, peter jackson.

nothing can ruin this story for me, so stop trying, peter jackson.

My folks got me the Lord of the Rings trilogy the xmas of 1995, and I got maybe 50 pages in before I got bored.  Who was this Frodo character?  Where was Bilbo?  He was my homie, if he wasn’t in this one, I didn’t give a shit.  So I stopped reading.

I picked it back up a few years ago and zomg amazeballs.  Highly recommended, even for those who don’t consider themselves nerds or whatever, GET OVER IT, it’s a fantastic bunch of literature, and you’re missing out by not reading it.  Just download it onto your Kindle, and if anyone asks what you’re reading you can lie to save your ego and tell them it’s something all those normal people are reading, like 50 Shades of Obvious Porn, or Beautiful Creatures who Whine for 500 Pages.

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goodness

Levar Burton, you were right

all I want is a small house with library that looks like this

In case you didn’t know, books are fucking magical.  “Hi,” they seem to say.  “I’m a dead tree that can make you smarter.”  See?  Magic.

I’ve always been totally fascinated by the concept that paper and ink can change a person simply by existing.  That’s all books do, really: sit around waiting to be discovered, like gems, like stars, like Atlantis.  All it takes is looking at them, and a person is different, no matter how small the change.  The power of ideas, knowledge, emotion, resting nearby, quietly lying in wait to pounce on my imagination like a happy predator, like my roommate’s cat, Calico; this is magic.  The written word is powerful, and this baffles and delights me.

I watched Reading Rainbow as a kid.  Giordi Laforge hosted, and he was the greatest.  He must be one of the most beloved people by my generation.  Every episode, he would basically say, “Let’s go on an adventure by looking at paper with words on it.”  I believe that’s what’s commonly known as magic.

all the cool kids read copiously

Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It’s in a book
A Reading Rainbow

I can go anywhere
Friends to know
And ways to grow
A Reading Rainbow

I can be anything
Take a look
It’s in a book
A Reading Rainbow

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