goodness, humor

Sweet chocolate lies

I, like most Westerners, have been led to believe that a woman wants chocolate like a man wants sex. But I’m not nuts about chocolate; I am outside the sisterhood of the travelling truffle. After a long day at work, I don’t want Godiva and a glass of wine; I crave bread and cheese with tea, or ramen with friends.

So I wonder if this is what women who have intense chocolate cravings actually picture when they eat chocolate, or consider when deciding which chocolate to buy: Was this lovingly made by a handsome foreign chef who, if we ever ran into each other in a market on a sleepy Sunday morning in a small hamlet in France, would have something to talk about because I saw him on this box at Ralphs that one time? Yes. I will buy and eat this chocolate over all others because this one was made my the gorgeous, Caucasian, whisk-wielding father of our inevitably brilliant future offspring.

dashingly handsome chef says, "I love chocolate almost as much as I love you..." *wink*

dashingly handsome chef says, “I love chocolate almost as much as I love you…” *wink*

This doesn’t strike me as a reasonable thought process (especially since I think we all know that there is no way in hell every single piece of this chocolate was pain-stakingly filled with more chocolate by some high-paid chocolatier with a fucking whisk), but it’s chocolate, not rocket science.  Reason is not exactly part of the equation.

humor, life

Incredible edible fashion

i'm diabetic! hooray!

Recently at the Salon du Chocolat in Paris, models trotted along the runway in dresses made of chocolate.

I saw these photos and laughed, but then the old woman part of me yells, “People are starving in the world!  France!  BAH!”  But fashion is nothing if not somewhat absurd.  The day fashion becomes nothing but functional is the day we all join NASA (yes plz!) and give up our aesthetics (no thx!).  I’m torn on whether I like high fashion.  It’s such a huge waste of energy and money, but I love the pure freedom of artistic expression, even if it often slips into the ridiculous and ugly.  But I love the concept of art: a semi-useless exercise of creativity for creativity’s sake.

If you’re not the type to worry about third-worlders, this must have been a seriously entertaining event.  Edible high fashion: What a great idea, in part because it’s so potentially disastrous, but also because it’s so temporary that it basically becomes performance art.  Each dress can only be worn once before it starts to go bad.  One of the dresses literally fell apart on the runway (see below).  What more do you want?  Ridiculous shenanigans are the best!  Too bad there are people starving in the world, France.

onoes! my delectably edible gown!