badness, humor

Brain, or uncritical devotion to your religion: pick one.

This was my good deed for the day last week.  Some high-schooler on my feed (daughter of one of my parents’ work friends I think?) posted this, and I just had to respond (with humor, because anything else is met with defensive lashing-out).

Meahwhile, wtf, who writes this stuff?  Do people think these things just get pooped out of Jesus’ butt and get flushed straight into Facebook?


also, god hates when you humblebrag all over twitter.

Objectively, this is an elegant equation: Religious + Facebook capable = particularly exploitable.  Therefore, religious chain letters that claim that all who read it “are being tested” is a perfect concoction for mindless reposting.  Those crazy enough to think that the creator of the universe is watching whether they’re gullible enough to repost anything that implies they might be punished if they don’t will repost.  Those who realize that the person who created said chain letter couldn’t possibly know whether it’s an officially god-sanctioned test (y’know, like Abraham almost killing his son) won’t.  If this had a Pepsi label in it, it would be a genius viral marketing tool.


badness, life

I could not give less of a shit about the pope if I tried

haven't you been smokin' a lot of peyote?

haven’t you been smokin’ a lot of peyote?

Why do news outlets think the whole world needs to know every fucking detail of the pope “election” process?  Who gives a shit?  Catholics, that’s who.  This news should be (and probably is) posted (appropriately) all over websites dedicated to religious/Christian/Catholic news items, but it doesn’t belong on the front page of the LA Times, CNN, BBC, etc., day after day.  I realize there are a good number of Catholics in the world, but do we all need to be inundated with the minutiae of this one religion’s choice of leadership?  I think not.

I realize that whomever is elected will have some political influence, but I cannot be bothered to care because this man will still be a totally delusional whackjob.  He will spend his time in a position of influence telling millions of sheeple how guilty to feel for using condoms to not contract deadly diseases, and reinforce the idea that a sentient being with the power to create an entire universe gives a shit about your lost car keys.  There is no chart big enough to accurately display the level of ego necessary to believe that humans are not only worth listening to telepathically, but monitoring and judging, constantly, for thousands of years.  Even if I were capable of creating galaxies, I’m not sure I would have the stamina to listen to people ask me to  smite their enemies all fucking day, year after year.  The fact that humans assume to understand what a being of that magnitude might possibly be thinking is insane.  The fact that they think they’re capable of choosing one man (who magically becomes infallible the day he takes on a man-made title) to communicate with this imaginary friend, and is somehow better at said communication than anyone else is beyond absurd.

Anyway, here’s a pretty accurate depiction of my reaction to every recent news story about the recent potpourri (pope-ery, get it?):



A friend just shared this one with me, too.

badness, life

Everyone play nice

I feel like this sometimes.

There’s some strange force field covering the concept of religion that does not extend to people, which is insane.  If we treated people as well as we are forced to treat religion, we would all be eligible for sainthood.  Talking plainly about religion as a theory is considered offensive by most religious people, which means a calm, logical conversation with religious people about religion is impossible.

Our court system is something I bring up whenever attempting to have a conversation like that.  I don’t understand how we can all agree to use a court system that relies upon scientifically substantiated evidence to determine guilt or innocence, while at the same time refusing to believe that science is a reliable resource for producing plausible theories for the origin of our universe, our planet, our humanity.  Everyone agrees that forensic evidence is admissible, while visions from god are not.  I can’t imagine the family of a murder victim choosing to allow the murderer to be judged by god instead of by a jury of his peers.

badness, life

Raptor Jesus would be disappointed

I’m having a crisis.


I love singing in a choir, being part of a group that creates beautiful, inspiring music.  So I joined the office choir that performs only at the office holiday party.  Notice it’s called the “holiday party” and not the “Christmas party” because it’s supposed to be non-denominational.  So I figured the holiday songs would be more about sleigh bells than Jesus and boy, I could not have been more wrong.  Every song we do it’s JESUS this and SAVIOR that.  What the hell?  I’ve gone to two of four practices, and I think I’m gonna have to bow out.  I sang in a choir for eleven years (age 10-21), in the children’s choir, then the girl’s choir, then the adult choir in the church associated with my elementary school.  Most of that time I was an atheist, but I loved the music because it was traditional, Latin, old-church perfection.  It was gorgeous!  And everyone loved doing their best, while this choir is sorta… casual.  Which isn’t a sin, but… *sigh*.  I miss it.  And I just can’t handle singing about Jesus if it’s gonna be this kitschy.  I object as an atheist, and as a human being with good taste.  I can’t go against my belief system that there is no god, and that We Need a Little Christmas is just awful.

Not looking forward to telling the co-workers about this one.  Most of them are Jewish, so that might make it a little less awkward.  Maybe.