goodness, life

Roommate burfdah!

Yesterday was Teacher Roommate’s birthday, the first we’ve celebrated since we started living together in September, so I went to some lengths to make it special.  For example, I made a cake.  I haven’t baked a cake in a decade, so this is some serious shit.  It was red velvet with cream cheese flavored icing, and fantastic striped candles.  Delicious.

Diminutive Roommate and I got her a gift certificate to her favorite sandwich place in the Marina, Mendocino Farms (which I call Fancypants Farms, due to the fancy sammiches they make).  They sell them in $10 increments, so we got five of them.  I wrote little limericks on the back of them to guide her on a scavenger hunt for the next one.  So fun!  She was zooming around the apartment figuring them out.  Here they are!

DRINK ME

If this heart could beat,
it would only beat hot,
though in truth it’s been empty
more often than not.

Years ago, Teacher Roommate made a tea pot in the shape of an anatomically correct heart.  It’s a little horrifying, and totally awesome.  It sits on our window sill in the kitchen above the sink.

Churning and spinning
and then with a MEEP!
It acts as a cooler,
our lager to keep.

Our washer/dryer gives off the loudest, most arresting honk… it’s just awful.  We hadn’t yet sold our old washer/dryer by our housewarming, so instead of being embarrassed by it, we hung Xmas lights all over it, threw a trash bag into it, and used it as a cooler for the beer.  When people came in, we would say, “Hey, welcome!  Shoes go over there, beer is in the washing machine, snacks are in the kitchen.”  It was quite the hit.

Ring and book
and skull and spear!
Deliciously spooky,
the gift you find here…

Obviously this was a reference to Betrayal at House on the Hill, our favorite board game of all time.  If you haven’t played it, buy it and make some friends.  It’s the best.

"yes, we're lesbians"

Communist woman are a
hard-working bunch,
measuring food for our
dinner and lunch.

Teacher Roommate has these Russian nesting dolls that are actually white, plastic measuring cups.  They’re super cute; we keep them on a shelf above the stove.

A portal to worlds in the
stars and beyond;
technology belonging to
whom we are fond.

This was the hardest one for her; it was Diminutive Roommate’s laptop, which we have hooked up to the TV.  All we do is watch Star Trek: The Next Generation.  It’s fantastic.

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goodness

So fun it’s scary

not as fun as it looks

Getting scared is just the best.  Not really scared, just startled by some jerk friend, or watching a scary movie while some jerk friend makes fun of you for cowering on the couch, or when you’re trying to walk back to your room after turning off all the lights and your roommate’s cat, Calico, goes streaking by, and you think, “HOLY SHIT OMG it’s just the fucking cat. Whew,” so you keep walking down the dark hallway to your room until WHAM!  Calico tackles your left ankle with all the force an 8-pound mammal can muster by digging her claws into the carpet and picking up an unearthly amount of speed and hurtling herself toward your legs with enough momentum to drive a rusty nail into a dead tree.  Then when you finally manage to stop screaming, you think, “Getting scared is the best.”

My buddy lives in an apartment in the Marina where we usually do our hanging out and game-playing (we’re pretty serious about our table-top/dice/card/strategy/board games).  I call his apartment our tree house, so let’s call him Treehouse Friend.  Treehouse Friend introduced us to Betrayal at House on the Hill, wherein the players explore a haunted house until one of them is possessed, and everyone else has to survive the possession.  Super scary!  Sometimes we play creepy music and light candles.

Diminutive Roommate, Teacher Roommate (who teaches ceramics at a local school, can sing opera-style like a pro, and lived with Diminutive Roommate for two years in college) and I are totally obsessed with this game right now for obvious reasons.  IT’S AWESOME.  Every game is different because there is no preset board your characters play on.  As we explore the house (commonly in different directions) we pull from a stack of tiles to reveal each room we’ve discovered, and the various events that happen in this room, or the items we find there.  The more we explore, the more likely the haunt will start and the house will cause one of the players to turn traitor and try to kill us all somehow!  Best of all there are 50 different haunts to play through, each of which is randomly determined by the events in the room we just explored.  It’s a fantastic game.  I’m already considering writing my own haunt.  Nerd!

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