Yesterday was Teacher Roommate’s birthday, the first we’ve celebrated since we started living together in September, so I went to some lengths to make it special.  For example, I made a cake.  I haven’t baked a cake in a decade, so this is some serious shit.  It was red velvet with cream cheese flavored icing, and fantastic striped candles.  Delicious.

Diminutive Roommate and I got her a gift certificate to her favorite sandwich place in the Marina, Mendocino Farms (which I call Fancypants Farms, due to the fancy sammiches they make).  They sell them in $10 increments, so we got five of them.  I wrote little limericks on the back of them to guide her on a scavenger hunt for the next one.  So fun!  She was zooming around the apartment figuring them out.  Here they are!

DRINK ME

If this heart could beat,
it would only beat hot,
though in truth it’s been empty
more often than not.

Years ago, Teacher Roommate made a tea pot in the shape of an anatomically correct heart.  It’s a little horrifying, and totally awesome.  It sits on our window sill in the kitchen above the sink.

Churning and spinning
and then with a MEEP!
It acts as a cooler,
our lager to keep.

Our washer/dryer gives off the loudest, most arresting honk… it’s just awful.  We hadn’t yet sold our old washer/dryer by our housewarming, so instead of being embarrassed by it, we hung Xmas lights all over it, threw a trash bag into it, and used it as a cooler for the beer.  When people came in, we would say, “Hey, welcome!  Shoes go over there, beer is in the washing machine, snacks are in the kitchen.”  It was quite the hit.

Ring and book
and skull and spear!
Deliciously spooky,
the gift you find here…

Obviously this was a reference to Betrayal at House on the Hill, our favorite board game of all time.  If you haven’t played it, buy it and make some friends.  It’s the best.

"yes, we're lesbians"

Communist woman are a
hard-working bunch,
measuring food for our
dinner and lunch.

Teacher Roommate has these Russian nesting dolls that are actually white, plastic measuring cups.  They’re super cute; we keep them on a shelf above the stove.

A portal to worlds in the
stars and beyond;
technology belonging to
whom we are fond.

This was the hardest one for her; it was Diminutive Roommate’s laptop, which we have hooked up to the TV.  All we do is watch Star Trek: The Next Generation.  It’s fantastic.