Author Archives: Toph Beifong

goodness

Komainu

Mythical creatures are so great.  What’s better than made-up monsters from a thousand years ago, immortalized in art that perpetuates to this day?

The komainu are mythical lion-like beasts that sit in pairs usually in front of temples in Japan (and China) to ward off bad luck and evil nonsense.

I fell in love with these guys while I was in China.  There are some huge stone animals along a walkway in Shanghai that I wanted to photograph (not enough time!).  But I managed to snag a shot with one that I became particularly fond of.

WUV YOUUUU

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goodness

Reign of toads

A friend of mine shared a blog post about old Japanese art featuring frogs and toads, and it just charmed the pants off me.  Look how awesome the paintings of these animals are.  Why are they marching around like that?  What the hell are they doing?  Once again, all I can say is wtf, Japan?  WHY SO AWESOME.

"you'll get the hang of it later, Hank. no everytoad can do arm-dousing in their first try."

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goodness, life, martial arts

Small improvements

I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions.  I don’t drink in excess, I don’t smoke, I’m not overweight, I’m already strengthening my foreign language skills and keeping in touch with people.  But there are small improvements that can be made every day, so that’s what I’ll do instead: no big resolution for huge change, just little adjustments to make me healthier and (hopefully) sexier.

Ballerina Friend has amazing posture. the above is me at age five, in my purple leotard and tutu. LOVED IT.

Sit the fuck up
When I was training, I was also in a choir and slept on a firmer bed.  My posture was fantastic.  It has since gotten… not so good, which is uncomfortable, lazy, unattractive, and doesn’t give the impression of confidence I’d like to trick people into thinking I have.

Stretch your shit out
I used to be more flexible, and it was awesome.  Not being able to touch my toes is just embarrassing.  So I’m going to stretch a little every day and see what happens.  Couldn’t hurt, right?

Stop eating so goddamn much
I need to stop eating when I’m full.  I don’t even realize when I’m going it; I’m so used to “clearing my plate” that it doesn’t even occur to me that I should just stop eating when the hunger goes away.  I would probably be healthier, and I would have more leftovers to snack on later when I actually am hungry.

And also I will apply to graduate school.  The end.

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badness, goodness, manfolk

Boyfwend is leaving :(

He’s going back east on his annual visit back home for the winter break.  He’s leaving this afternoon, and I can’t take him to the airport because of work.

Also, Kim Jong Il died.  Good riddance.  Here’s hoping his fat son gets ousted in a coup lead by the starving masses his father managed to keep under his fat thumb.

Anyway, while people are all bummed out in NORTH Korea, SOUTH Korea is having some kind of on-going Tae Kwon Do dance party (I’m sure my invitation is in the mail).

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goodness, nerd

Nerd gifts!

 

If you don’t know what to get your nerd girlfriend this year (ahem), remember that women do occasionally wear jewelry, and Legos never go out of style.  Hence, Lego ring from Giant Robot!

If you’re really hard-pressed for gift ideas for your favorite nerd, check out This Is Why I’m Broke.  It has everything your little geek heart could ever want, including:

looks a little... sharp

A Space Invaders couch!  Every nerd has played Space Invaders, but since it came out in 1978, no one my age would think of this game as their first love.  Still, it’s a classic.

swish and flick

A wand remote control!  For all your Harry Potter fanatics, this wand remote looks like it would get really tiring really fast.  But who doesn’t want one of these?  I mean… I think I want one.

"kill me."

A hoodie for your cat!  My last boyfriend (Nebraska McBaldy Fat) was exactly what he sounds like: a balding, overweight, pasty-white middle-America, computer-worshiping nerd in every sense of the word.  So of course he got two cats, both of which SUCK, and should be punished by stuffing them into hilarious little outfits.

light bike!

A fully functional Tron light bike!  This puppy has a Suzuki 996cc engine, and is street legal, so it’s not just a $55,000 souvenir.  It’s also the best way to distract your fellow drivers and cause an accident.

pretty horrifying

The creepiest body pillow ever!  As if snuggling a person-sized pillow wasn’t weird enough, some lonely nerd decided said pillow should snuggle you back.  Yikes.

 

 

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goodness, humor, martial arts

Tae Kwon Do

This video has been making the rounds the past couple of days.  Instant classic.  Look at these kids, bouncing around like little bunnies.  Notice they have a pretty standard fighting stance before the fight starts, but as soon as it starts, their hands drop like all Tae Kwon Do trained fighters do, because they’re waiting for their opponent to kick them so they can dodge and kick back.  No hands involved, just lightning-fast feet and brutally strong legs.  Unless you’re an adorable child, like one of these little monsters.

hop hop *twirl* hop hop hop

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goodness, humor

If only…

If parents pulled shit like this on their kids, OMG I might die laughing.  Some kids are so out of control, they need a good scare to remember that the only thing between them and some horrible monster is the spineless parents they treat so shamefully.

genius

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goodness

A sample of Art History

by Maxfield Parrish

If you’ve never taken an art history class, here’s your chance to see what it’s like.

Turn off the lights, and watch this short narrative about how trees affect this curator at The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

My mind tends to enter a mode of hyper-interaction when I’m online, so I have to remind myself of the key phrase that re-focused me whenever my mind started to wander in my own art history classes during collage: “Shhh.  Look closely.”

It’s tough looking at pictures of art for hours at a time, in the dark, while a soothing voice drones on about this emperor or that goddesses, why this type of marble was used and how paints are made.  A silent, sharp mind is necessary, and mine was not always either one.  But art history is the best!  It’s a picture book of human history.  Super cool!

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family, goodness, life

Lunar eclipse

I woke up at 4:45am to go watch the lunar eclipse with my dad the other day.  He brought a home-made coffee service in a basket.  We sat on the beach in our sleeping bags and watched a white moon turn rusty orange/red before disappearing behind so much atmosphere as the sun rose.

There weren’t many people out there, but of those people, everyone was in twos or threes because waking up before dawn to stare at the moon for over an hour in the biting cold would be unbearable without company.  Dad and I laid down and chatted between binocular viewings of the eclipse, which looked somewhat apocalyptic.  I was warm and tired, but happy to be chatting with my dad, participating in something he was enthusiastic about.

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