It’s been a pretty cold season as Los Angeles winters go. He and I live in his grandfather’s old house, a two story, three bedroom and bathroom house that’s an amazing place to live, but expensive to heat. We tend to just hang out in the bedroom while his tower hums and heats up the room. Meanwhile, Boyfriend is often colder than me (especially his hands and feet), so he bundles up and is occasionally adorable.
Category Archives: manfolk
Hi, my name is Awkward
I’m still doing shit like this (in my head). I feel like a child. I feel dumb. I need to accept the fact that I will:
a) never be one of those super cool adults that have their shit together
b) never not do shit like this
The sleep issue
Boyfriend’s out of town. I’ve killed two whole bugs. I did all the dishes I’ve been allowing to accumulate over the past week.
Side note: The joy of not doing my dishes has literally made me giggle aloud a few times recently. Needless to say, I’m enjoying Boyfriend being out of town a whole lot more than expected. It’s pretty fun, setting my own schedule, not checking in with anyone, sitting around watching Buffy all afternoon and writing my blog [like right now], drinking tea in front of the TV, not paying attention to Boyfriend… overall, a very relaxing, fun experience so far.
But getting to sleep is still a problem. I found this chart to explain. It does a pretty good job (except for the screenplay part: replace that with creating imaginary conflicts in which I dominate).
No rest for the awesome
I haven’t had time to write a new post recently due to too much awesome shit happening to/around me. Let me just put down some quick updates on every relevant topic.
Old Home, New Owner
Diminutive Roommate has received a sideways-promotion to Diminutive Friend, due to her purchase of a house in the valley. She moved in and started tearing up some truly hideous shag carpet and disco linoleum to show some beautiful wood floors underneath, and has plans to install central air (because it’s the valley, duh). She’s excited, but was worried about living alone (since I won’t be able to move in with her after all). But it turns out our other friend is moving in with her because of lame roommate problems. Let’s call her Busy/Genius Friend depending on the situation, because she’s wicked smart, but cannot arrive anywhere on time, nor make solid plans due to keeping way too busy. She’s also a really hard worker and very resourceful, so she’ll help Diminutive Friend improve the house like crazy, which is awesome. I’m gonna help out too, if I ever get my life back. We’re all pretty excited for her, can’t wait to harass her over there with board games and sleepovers 🙂
Moving in With a Handsome Man
I’m moving in with Boyfriend! He’s been living in his grandfather’s house (now that his grandfather has passed away) for the past two years or so rent-free. His family is allowing me to move in for $600 rent since I’m a student (which is very generous of them, knowing I’ve been paying $850 at my old place). I’ve basically been staying at the house for the last month to get used to the idea of living here with permanence so it’s not a system shock to either of us (so far so good; Boyfriend keeps saying stuff like, “This is fun! It’s fun having you here all the time. This is gonna be great.“). All the heavy lifting has been done by Boyfriend and dad (hutch to my folks’ place, refrigerator to rental garage near Highland, bookcase and bed and white bookshelf at the house). We finished taking just about everything this past weekend. Moving is awesome because it’s a great way to purge myself of crap I haven’t used in a while. I long for a simple life, but I can’t seem to get rid of a lot of stuff because they all come with memories I can’t bear to part with, or they’re things I’ll be proud to show off to my future friends/kids, or I need those damn clothes for work, etc.
Graduate School (or Why I Have No Life)
My first semester of graduate school is winding down (just two weeks left) and winding up (three papers and a video due within two weeks). I haven’t been able to fall asleep without lying awake for two hours first. My mind won’t slow down. I can’t seem to calm myself down about school. I have so much reading to do on top of the assignments, I seem to spend all my time trying to get them done before class that I’m worried I won’t have time to write papers or make time for friends. I’m always wishing I had gotten more done. I’ve started reminding myself while I lie awake that I’m doing my best (which is true, I’m going to beat the shit out of this grad school program), and because of that, I am allowed to sleep. It doesn’t seem to be helping much, but I’ll keep trying.
Zombie Kitten
I picked up the kitten I rescued from the vet on July 25th, and he’s been living at Boyfriend’s house ever since. He’s HILARIOUS. We both wish we could keep him, but Boyfriend’s family says we can’t have a pet here at the house 😦 Boyfriend and I are super sad about it. We’re pretty attached to him, he’s so funny. He loves falling asleep on our laps, purrs super loud (he purred in my lap for a solid hour today), and chases after a laser pointer like his life depends on it. He’s also really chatty, which can get annoying, especially during class when he circles my chair and whines about not being on my lap, then attempts to jump onto my lap but can’t quite make it, so he digs his razor-sharp claws into my legs (I’m still healing from the last four attempts). That’s not so much fun. Otherwise he’s awesome, and we’re sad to have to get rid of him. The good news is that I found a nice person to take him 🙂 Now all we have to do is make friends with this person so we can come visit Zobo all the time, hahaha.
Zombie cat has risen
Remember that kitten I rescued off the street? The one that was bleeding and motionless on the asphalt? The one who, when I brought him home from the vet, seemed to have seizures? The one that could barely eat and slept all the time? The one who I thought might have brain swelling and die at any moment?
Well he’s just fine.
In fact, there’s no shutting him up, lol. He walks around and chases after our feet, wolfs down food at an alarming rate, makes a huge mess of the bathroom where we’re keeping him, and meows constantly. The only times he’s quiet is when he’s eating or sleeping (usually behind the refrigerator where it’s warm). He seems particularly fond of the TV, and stood staring at a United States Olympic gymnast (now a gold-medal winner) for a solid 30 seconds last night. He has just started looking up at things, and has a hilarious little trot. He has yet to master turning left (poor lil’ Zoolander), which might be due to the damage in his right ear and eye (I think the blood on his face when I found him came out of his ear, since it wasn’t coming out of his mouth).
He’s very friendly and playful, loves being pet and being around people, and doesn’t seem to have any issues. Plus, he’s adorable. We’re looking for a home for him, but in the meantime, we’re enjoying watching him be a weirdo and holding him until he falls asleep purring and pawing at the air while we watch TV. I’ve named him Zobo for his zombie-like ability to come back from the (seeming) dead.
Get Shorty
On my walk to work today, I saw what looked like a plastic bag in the street. Then I realized the part in the air was a tail. It was a light gray kitten, and his head was resting in a small pool of blood. I thought, “How sad,” and kept walking. Then I heard it meow. Not a normal meow, but a loud, kinda of skreeching-howling meow. I thought, “O god,” and kept walking, trying to figure out what to do. I would be late to work if I helped it. I had to go to work, right? It was probably next to death and would die soon anyway, right? Its injuries were probably severe, so it would die any second, so I should just go to work, right?
I couldn’t say what stopped me. I just realized it wasn’t in line with my priorities to let a kitten die in the street when I hadn’t even checked to see if it was save-able. I turned around and walked back, searching on my phone for emergency veterinarians in the area. I knelt down to have a look at the kitten, which was still breathing, and struggle to open its eyes to look at me. The only damage I could see was to the part of its face that was on the ground. The rest of him looked ok. Fine, I thought, I’ll try to get him some help. I stood up next to the kitten as some cars approached to make sure he didn’t get hit. A mail drop-off at the base of my parking structure was open, so I walked over and asked around for a cardboard box. The guy who found me one said, “Is it for that cat? Is it still alive?” I nodded. [it only just now occurs to me that he may have hit it] He came out with me and held my Kindle while I scooped up the kitten as gently as I could and placed him in the box. I wiped some blood off my hand onto the box and thanked the man as I stood to leave. He called me back as I walked away and told me that there was an animal hospital not far from us. I booked it to the car and drove east.
The place I found wasn’t a vet, but was definitely cat friendly (there were young cats playing, sleeping, sitting all over the place. One slept on a pile of mail in an in-box, another dozed on a computer tower). She printed out an address for an animal rescue that could help. I sped west, keeping an eye on the kitten to make sure I could still see it breathing. Once I found the place, a blonde woman waiting for service inside took one look at the box and knew it meant trouble. I told her the details, and she thanked me for being a good person. “Hey,” she said to the woman behind the counter. “We’ve got a trauma case here.” They said they weren’t taking trauma cases right now, and that I should go to the shelter a few blocks away. The blonde woman next to me wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Is the doctor in? Yeah, we need to see her. We can’t leave this kitten like this.”
Turns out her name is Mary K, and she owns a shelter in Las Vegas called All the Same Wild and Tame. She drives to LA once per week to pick up animals that would otherwise be euthanized. Her “bestest friend” was also there. She gave me some pamphlets and info on their organization once I was done crying. She took charge of the situation, and for that, I was very grateful. I called work to let them know I’d be late.
We went back with the nurse (doctor?) to get the kitten checked out. She had a look at him, wiped some of the blood off his face, pulled his eyelids open one at a time, and had a look inside his mouth. Then she picked him up and felt along his body and legs to see if anything else was damaged. He tried to run away, but they wrapped him back up in the towel Mary K had brought in from her truck for me. She left to check on getting me an estimate, and a few minutes later, another nurse (doctor?) came in to let me know that they wanted to do x-rays to see if there was damage to the bones in his face in particular, and to put him on fluids and antibiotics, and keep him over for a couple of days. Total: $200. I said yes to everything.
I went outside and paid. Mary K gave me a hug and thanked me for being a good person again (at which point I almost cried again), and I drove to work. My coworkers wanted to know how the kitten was, and how I was. I gave the shelter a call a couple hours ago; they said the kitten’s x-rays were clear, and that he was fine. They’re still going to keep him for a couple of days, just to make sure he’s ok.
Now I just need to figure out how to convince Boyfriend to let me keep him (if I move in with him, STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK ABOUT THAT PART OF MY FUTURE, GAH). I already told him all about it when he called me about an hour ago. He could not stop laughing and saying, “Adorable.” I don’t think he thought I was serious about keeping the kitten. But I think I’d like to. I think I’d really like to. And kinda not. I don’t know. Pretty torn. He’s so cute. They needed a name when I paid the bill. I wrote down “Shorty.” The nurse said he probably wasn’t gray, but white and filthy. A white cat named Shorty. Pretty cute.
Stop it, you two
As we were falling asleep the other night:
me: Boyfriend…
him: Hmm?
me: I think I’ve run out of new words to tell you I love you.
him: That’s ok girlfriend. You can use old ones. I know how much you love me.
me: Oh. Ok good.
A sudden change of scenery
Diminutive Roommate has been looking for a house for the past year and a half or so. She made an offer on a house Wednesday, and heard back Thursday that her offer had been accepted. I felt a stab of panic on Thursday. Today is Friday. I”m waiting for the stab of panic to fade anytime now.
In all seriousness, I’m pretty excited for Diminutive Roommate. We got to chat about the house for the first time tonight, and she’s (obviously) feeling overwhelmed, and worried that we’ll stop hanging out (note to self: harass Diminutive Roommate endlessly for the next three months, or until she gets sick of me). I let her know that she would have my weekends for a while to help her get situated, and at the very least get the place in order so it can feel like a home and not just a new space to store herself.
Meanwhile, this is the perfect time to move out of our apartment for me. I have good credit, but apparently it wasn’t good enough for me to not need a guarantor when we moved in here. I was furious and embarrassed. My dad signed on with much grumbling. He and Mom didn’t seem to understand how angry and ashamed I was to have to ask for that kind of help at age 27 until they were delivering yet another lecture about how they didn’t like having to do this kind of thing at my age, and they hoped I understood the implications of blahblahblah, and I burst into tears and went on a tirade about how much effort I had put into being fiscally responsible and how mortified I was to have to do this in front of my friends, in front of my family.
Fast-forward ten months later, and Diminutive Roommate’s sudden escrow looks like an escape route for my parents who are financially on the hook until this lease ends with finality. Plus, boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together, but that’s all contingent on the approval of his family, who owns the house he’s been staying in rent-free for almost two years. Plus the logistics of where my stuff would go in a house where they have expressly forbidden Boyfriend from doing anything as extreme as moving the furniture around (how would they ever fix such a permanent change?!). So where would my stuff go? How much rent would I be expected to pay? How long would I be safely housed there until we got booted out because they suddenly decided to sell the place?
Then there’s the possibility that they’ll just say no outright. Where would I go? Would I stay here? Would my parents take me in? They let Sister live there for a while before she couldn’t stand it for another second (that was explosive exit).
I’m expecting the panic to subside anytime now. Yep, aaaaaanytime.
Side note: It’s Saturday now, and I’ll be going to see Diminutive Roommate’s house this afternoon. I’m pretty excited. She said there are two cats that come with the place, lol. I wonder what she’ll do with them (adopt, obviously). More as this story unfolds. Back to you in the studio.
There will always be a spider
I am not a fan of bugs. I think they’re amazing in a cold, scientific way, but if they could all die without adverse effects on the planet and its flora and fauna, I would be happy. Once, when Boyfriend and I first started dating, I saw a spider on the ceiling of his bedroom and squeaked, “Onoes boyfwend a buggie-bug!” Bear in mind I’ve sparred with men more than twice my weight with two feet of height on me. Boyfriend was delighted to see a clearly very vulnerable killing machine of a girlfriend, and came to my rescue armed with a tissue. Thank you, Boyfriend.
Here are two emails I sent him on May 29th at 1130pm when he was out of town for a couple of weeks:
BOYFRIEND THERE’S A SPIDER! It’s on the table, and it’s coming over here gaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
I blew on it. It went away. I think it’s on the floor.
Crap I can’t find it. BOYFRIEND THERE’S A SPIDER.
15 minutes later:
Calico found it, she’s attacking it. She stopped. She keeps smelling it and watching it walk away. JUST EAT IT GAH it’s under my chair! WHY ISN’T IT DEAD YET.
Wait, did she just eat it? Haha yeah, she ate it. Good kitty.
I have recently come to a horrifying realization: There will always be a spider. So I either have to always have to have a spider-killer around (Teacher Roommate fills that role when Boyfriend isn’t around), or I’ll have to get brave enough to face my fear of crawling things.
Boyfriend it is.
Side note: DO NOT Google “huge spider” if you want to sleep this week.
He loves me
Last Sunday night as I arrived at Boyfriend’s house to spend the night, he was dancing in the doorway at me. “What a clown, so cute,” I thought with a smile. I went inside. “I’m so happy to see you,” he said.
“Me too.” [hug]
As he closed the garage door behind me, he said, “I love you.”
“Oh yeah?” I said, a little surprised. His random declarations of love don’t happen very often, but he’s been doing it more and more. It makes me really happy.
“Yeah, everything’s better with you, my whole life is better. I love you so much.”
“Wow, really?”
“Yeah. I miss you when you’re not around.”
“Me too. I wish you could be with me all the time.”
“Me too.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
So we’re doing ok, I guess.














