goodness, humor, nerd

In Communist Russia, customer serves you

totally accurate

totally accurate

Occasionally I poke around Medieval Collectibles to see what’s on sale that I might add to my Renaissance Faire costume.  I’d been poking around for years before I finally got around to buying a legitimate Renn Faire costume, so of course I bought the wrong size.  I chatted with some very helpful online service reps who assured me that if I bought the right size and sent back the too-big dress, I would be refunded the amount of the too-big dress and all would be well.

Well.  That was almost a year ago, and I only just got around to sending the too-big dress back this week.  I sent with it a note that essentially said, “Hey, I spoke with some very nice people at your company who assured me I could get a refund for this dress since I bought another one, so here it is and since you’ve all been so nice, please enjoy this group of photos of Benedict Cumberbatch transforming into an otter.”

I received an email from said company today:

I wanted to let you know that we received back Irish Dress and saw that you wanted us to process this as a return for refund. Typically a 15% restocking fee is removed before refunding, however since you already placed an exchange order, we are waiving this fee.

How nice!  They’re refunding me in full.  Then it said boring stuff about waiting a few days for the full refund without freaking out because where is my refund raaaaaaaagh!! /table flip.  Then there was this:

P.S. Thank you for the pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch, they were very funny! 🙂

Success!  Hahahaha omg I love that a human looked at my little note and smiled.  Totally made my day.

goodness, manfolk

Ireland: Day 2

Day two in Dublin started with sun and ended with rain.  Apparently the weather change happens a lot here.

otters are the best

Boyfriend and I saw the Book of Kells today!  What a whimsical, incredible work of art.  There are all kinds of bizarre animals, like a bird with its feet in its mouth for a prominent “D”, and an otter with a fish caught in its mouth, which is now obviously my favorite part.

After that we exited into the Long Room, which houses all kinds of neat old books (I was told yesterday that “neat” is a distinctly American word).  I love old books, and the high ceiling is so pretty.  There was also a really cool wrought iron spiral staircase which Boyfriend and I really wanted to take a photo of, but alas, no photos allowed (but I found this one online that doesn’t quite do it justice).

note to self: WANT

We grabbed some sandwiches at Neary’s (smoked salmon, and chicken), then walked back to get a tour of Trinity College from a very funny graduate student.  It had started to drizzle, so when we got home we relaxed and forgot we had to be at dinner by 6 until 610.  It was 1.3 miles away.

We zoomed over in a taxi and were put in with the 7pm dinner group.  It was at The Brazen Head, Dublin (and possibly Ireland’s) oldest pub.  There we had a three course meal over a pint and coffee with dessert, and enjoyed some folklore and local history.  There were loads of Americans there, and the songs were great.

We didn’t end until 1030, and by then it was raining.  We mapped out a route home and got wet all the way.  I was getting into a bit of a sour mood until I reminded myself that this was Dublin.  It rains here all the time.  I should really just get used to it.  Then Boyfriend pointed out that we could put our clothes on the heater when we got back to the hotel room, and I got super excited.  Extra warm clothes for a cold day?  Yes please!

Breakfast this morning was delicious, by the way.  We’re having breakfast every day at the hotel, and it’s just lovely.  One of us ordered crepes with fruit, and the other got an egg with sausage, bacon, half a tomato, and pudding (some kind of oatmeal cake, not bad).  I’m looking forward to that tomorrow.  Plus, Dublin Castle!

goodness, humor

Sherlock Holmes, the human otter

No wonder I love Sherlock.  He is secretly an otter.  In case you didn’t know, otters are the cutest animal.

I’ve read a few Adventures of Sherlock Holmes; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was hilarious and a bit of a genius.  I love everything about these stories.  They’re short and fun, and written in what I like to call, “The Old Style” that I love so much (1880-1925).

goodness, life, martial arts

Just your friendly neighborhood masked vigilante

I’ve never actually given up on being a superhero (superheroine).

I’ve been reading comics since age… 8? I started with Archie, but soon blossomed into comics with fully violent characters who pranced around in sexually inappropriate S&M outfits in broad daylight, and saved the world from equally bizarrely-motivated and strangly dressed evil-doers in the process (I’m lookin’ at you, X-Men).

i would strike terror in the hearts of criminals with my adorable otter face

I was brainwashed by said sexy/violent comics from a very young age to believe that with the right timing, martial arts training and clever one-liners, I too could beat the shit out of criminals on a semi-nightly basis. Is it childish to believe I could still do this?

Here’s the biggest problem with fighting crime: you have to be there as it happens. How long does Batman spend crouched on rooftops night after night, watching nothing of note unfold on the streets below? I’m guessing hours and fucking hours. But with supervillains running around, there’s plenty of lawless extra-curricular activity to shut down.

So here’s my problem: I don’t live in Gotham. There aren’t a bunch of crazies scheduling heists and telling everyone and their mom about it so I can show up to save the day. Crime in the real world happens fast and usually without much planning, and definitely without uniformed goons carrying out the plans of some lunatic. I do not have my ear to the ground for news within the cocaine racket. I am incapable of learning about significant illegal activities (to a point where I could be a useful masked crusader) without joining the police, or a gang. Neither of which is sounding too appealing right now.

But that hasn’t stopped me from considering going through with it.

I look at masks online, considering the pros and cons of displaying the lower-half of my face. I think of what my outfit would look like (no cape), what my equipment might consist of (short, blunt weapons, stun gun). Then I think practically: when would I get the chance to change into this getup? While the crime is going on? So I would just leave while people get robbed or shot at or beaten? Would I wear my costume beneath my clothes all the time so I wouldn’t have to change into it? The whole situation is totally impossible.

but that chick in the wheelchair is toast

But then I think, I don’t need to be on the prowl for criminals. I would just have to react if I ever got the chance. No time to change into costume, or even reveal a costume.

But there would be time to don a mask.

Masks… are really, really cool. I want one. I want to wear one. I want to need one so I can justify spending too much money on one. But then I think, The paper trail! Don’t leave one! In case this whole thing gets out of hand. In case I end up on Youtube as some local heroine, and the police search for someone who purchased a mask like mine in the last year, and they’ll find me! And then bring me in for questioning! That’d be pretty gnarly.

There’s a part of me that will always think of this a totally doable because I want to protect those around me. It’s in my nature to be a guardian.  I can’t imagine that ever changing.

goodness, life


Hey look it’s that otter I drew last week:

in case you didn't know, otters are the cutest

And hey, it’s that octopus I finished tonight:

in case you didn't know, octopi are the coolest

I’ve been spending my free time sketching lately, which is good because I get this weird feeling whenever I’m doing only one thing that I have to do two things.  For example: watching Buffy while sketching is an acceptable combination of activities.  Cooking is also fun because it demands I do many things somewhat simultaneously.  Dishes suck for this reason: they’re only one thing.  Driving doesn’t count because I’m almost always either talking to myself when there’s no music, or thinking up music video ideas to the music when there is (and sometimes talking to myself about said music video ideas).  One thing is not enough.

Why do I have to do more than one thing at a time?  Is it some compulsion–HEY!  I’m blogging!  And doing nothing else!  No, wait, I’m also drinking tea.  False alarm.

So is it some compulsion my generation has developed due to our constant access to any and all things various via the interwebz?  The need to multitask all the time?  I’ve heard that multitaskers aren’t very good at doing many things at a time well, and are even worse at doing just one thing at a time well.  Fuuuuuck!

Reductio ad absurdum: My generation sucks at sex.  No, that can’t be right.  *wink*  HAHAHA!