goodness, humor

Group text shenanigans

You gotta be real careful when sending out a group text not to include some yahoo who will take the first chance to be a giant weirdo and inform all others on said text that your choice of friends has been questionable at best, and totally unjustifiable at worst.  Naturally, I am that yahoo.

A friend of mine sent out a Happy New Year text to me and a bunch of people I don’t know.  A couple days later, one of them accidentally texted us all back in an attempt to text one of them regarding movie plans.  MISTAKE, lol.

the total lack of response since then has solidified my position as "the odd one" in that group of friends (strangers to me).  WIN.

the total lack of response since then has solidified my position as “the odd one” in that group of friends (strangers to me). WIN.

 

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goodness

Halloween!

It’s Halloween!  The best holiday ever!  Everybody dress up and act silly!  Kids!  Eat all the candy!  Adults!  Wear your costume to work (and stop dressing like sluts)!  Everybody get a little scared!  Time to watch A Nightmare Before Christmas!  Don’t do any work at Office Job!  Mess with kids at the dojo!  Hooray!

I had a scratch in Office Job Friend's office

I was stressing this morning on my way to Office Job.  I didn’t see a single person in costume.  A bunch of elementary school kids crossing the street with their parents were all in uniform.  On my walk from the car to campus, still no costumes.  I had to ask the woman who was stopped at the crosswalk with me, “It’s Halloween today, right?”  She laughed and confirmed, yes, today is Halloween, and my costume is awesome.

My costume came about in the way most good things do: as the result of harmless shenanigans.  I used to teach an hour-long free martial arts class to my friends every Saturday morning for a while at a park nearby Boyfriend’s old apartment.  One day we discovered our usual spot taken by a bunch of lunatics training their dogs to go through the kind of obstacle course you’d see at a dog show.  We were not amused.  It was the only shady spot at the park that wasn’t muddy, and it was ours.  We had to get it back.  So we hatched a plan that involved one of us dressing up as a dog owner/trainer guiding another of us dressing as a dog through the obstacle course (with varying degrees of success).  Naturally, I was the designated dog.  We got a camera, a leash, and a dog costume.  We showed up at the park a few weeks later, ready to roll, and they were gone.  They never came back.  We were pretty bummed.

And yet behold!  A Halloween costume was born, and all were glad.  I’ve worn this costume for… wow, four years.  The first year I went to a party in Mid-Wilshire, got drunk, and barked at people who knocked into me in the crowd.  When else would that be even remotely appropriate?  Only on Halloween!

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