goodness, manfolk

Winter break debacle: Success edition!

Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now, so I’m glad to report that I finally made it to the east coast to visit him during winter break.  I even managed to keep it a secret!

some woman almost forgot to take her dog out of the x-ray boxes.  I was ready to spring into action and rescue him, though, which would have been REALLY fun.

some woman almost forgot to take her dog out of the x-ray boxes. I was ready to spring into action and rescue him, though, which would have been REALLY fun.

If you’re new here, you might not recall that I’ve attempted this trip before: said attempt was marked by a tragic lack of success (as you can see here).  This time, though, the whole thing went off without a hitch.  I got a redeye flight to avoid any delays during layovers (which is part of what screwed me last time).  Once I arrived one of his friends, Coppertop, drove me to his place, then dropped me off at a mall where I needed to find a way to surprise him with some kind of subtly spectacular display of love.

I bought a pretzel (hadn’t eaten in over 12hrs) and wandered around the mall, chatting with attendants, feeling out who would be game to help me do something ridiculous.  I settled on an employee with whom I had a brief conversation about tea selection at William Sonoma.  She seemed nice, and their uniform is just an apron, so I figured if I asked nicely, she would let me wear an apron for a few minutes and hand out samples until Boyfriend came around, at which point I would treat him like any other customer and offer him one (and only one) sample before drifting off to help someone else.

This, however, did not pan out.  I got a text from Coppertop: We’re here.  Shit!  I texted STALL!, scarfed the pretzel and asked the lady at William Sonoma if I could borrow an apron for a loving prank.  She winced.  “You need to ask my manager,” and pointed to the most stressed out woman in the mall: apologizing over the phone to an irate customer, ringing someone up, then dashing into the back room, she clearly wasn’t about to get on board with any shenanigans.

pictured: inspiration

pictured: inspiration

I hustled out of the store, and wracked my brain for new ideas while scanning the very thin crowd for Boyfriend and Coppertop.  Then I heard it: toot toot!  The mall had a children’s train that made a circuit around the mall.  I got in line and fidgeted, eyes darting around, waiting to get caught.  The train pulled into the “station.”  Kids got off, kids got on, but there wasn’t enough room for all of us.  I stayed in line with two more families in front of me while the train pulled away.  I texted Coppertop I’ll be on the train in a few mins, and waited anxiously while the soft toot toot! slowly grew softer then louder.  As I glanced around, excited that I had almost made it onto the train without being spotted by Boyfriend, I noticed a sign: “$2 to ride.”  I froze.  I dug into my purse knowing exactly what I would find: one dollar in quarters.  I had spent my last three dollars on that damn pretzel.

Now I had a choice.  I could wait for the train to come back and throw myself at the mercy of the “conductor,” or beg for a dollar from the mother in line in front of me.

I chose the latter.

I explained how we’d been together for so long, but I had never been able to visit him, and the last time I tried it all fell apart, and now I was only a dollar away from a fantastic surprise, and would she be so kind as to loan me a dollar for the train ride?  “My boyfriend will pay you back, he’s a sweetheart,” I explained, but she was already nodding and reaching into her purse, as was the mother in line in front of her, who had over heard my sob story.  The train pulled in just as I said my twentieth thank-you, and we all piled on.  I pulled my ponytail out, put on some chapstick.  I was ready to wow Boyfriend.

We choo-choo’d around the mall for a minute before I spotted them.  Eventually we pulled right up alongside them.  As we idled by, I sat up straight, waved like the Queen and called, “Hello, peasants!”  He and Coppertop laughed as I pulled away.  Then I became that weird adult on a kids’ train ride without a kid to legitimize my presence.  So that was awkward.

The ride (finally) ended, and Boyfriend couldn’t stop smiling and laughing as we followed Coppertop around (he had some actual errands to run at the mall).  He loves his friends, family and me so much.  It makes him giddy when we’re all together.  He’s a good person.  I’m glad I got him.

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badness, humor, school, work

Parking fail

I park in the same parking garage off campus every day.  People who park there are like me: repeat customers.  You’ll typically find the same cars in their favorite spots.  Every car there belongs to someone who works at or attends the university where I work/go to grad school.

So it’s weird when someone does a horrendous parking job.  It’s not like they’ve never parked there before.  There is really no excuse.

But since it’s possible that this horrible parker is a co-worker or classmate, I can’t put mean notes on these cars.  I have to rely on comedy to get my point across.

Behold:

note

i made this

UPDATE: April 1, 2013
Once again, some oblivious sheep did a shitty parking job with an SUV in a compact spot.  So I became a smartass.  Again:

sweet parking job bro

sweet parking job bro

 

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goodness, humor

Diamonds in the rough

I got a moving violation a couple of weeks ago.  It was totally my fault: I entered where it said “DO NOT ENTER.”  Pretty clear, right?  Duh.

Anyway, I’m taking an online driving course to make sure the point doesn’t go onto my licence and jack up my insurance rates, and this question made me burst out laughing:

if only the correct answer were C

Who writes these?  It sounds like they’re having a really fun time of it, which makes me happy and more willing to continue taking this stupid course.

P.S. I Google’d ‘law ghost’ just to see what would come up, and got this, a website for a ghost writing service for legal documents that looks like it hasn’t been updated since 1992, and uses the motto “Lurking For You.”  Once you fax in your materials you’ll receive an email with the document in “Word or WordPerfect formats.”  Suffice to say, the midi file that plays on loop in the background is just precious.

 

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goodness, life, martial arts, work

I love you, Fiat

I hit 12,000 miles in my Fiat the other day, and I’m as much in love with it as ever.  My little Fiat is the best.  I’m such a fan.

But I’ve only had it eight months, which means I’ve been driving 1,500 miles per month.  Of course this is probably because I live on the Westside, work near downtown in the morning, and in Redondo Beach in the afternoon (about 50 miles) an average of three days a week, plus the weekend Redondo Beach drive (35 miles round trip).  That’s almost 750 miles per month just for work.  And that’s assuming I’m not covering for any other Sensei’s, or attending an event on a day off at Office Job.

This is part of the reason why I bought this car; I was doing a ton of driving, and hating every second of it because I hated my car.  Now, driving is a pretty pleasant experience.  Thank you, Fiat.  I love you.

driving home from karate job

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