goodness, life, manfolk, school

Good shit

Tonight, I arrived at home to discover that everyone in my apartment has had an excellent 24 hours.

a work in progress

Teacher Roommate met the owner of Mendocino Farms (our new favorite place), and he gave her a free sandwich (she’s painting a jelly fish right now– see picture at right).  Diminutive Roommate exchanged the Xbox her coworkers bought her for her birthday for a Wii (she’s hooking it up right now!).  Boyfriend just discovered that he landed a job that will take him to London for a week.  And of course, I applied to graduate school yesterday; I even got a phone call from someone in the program congratulating me on completing (and submitting) my application in full.

And Calico just got her dinner.  So everyone is having a stellar day.

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goodness, manfolk

One egg is un oeuf

Boyfriend drove two people to the airport this morning: his aunt (5am) and a friend of ours (8am).  Before leaving for the 8am drive to LAX, he asked if I wanted an omelet.  He made one with tomato and cheese, and left it in the microwave.  I ate it and had to leave before he came back.  What a sweetie.

pretty tasty

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goodness, life, manfolk

Shinies

I pretty much caught Boyfriend looking at rings on his iPhone a few months ago.

He was showing me some random photos he had taken, and as I scrolled back, I found a few diamond rings.  “That’s pretty…” I mumbled, vaguely.
“I was… looking for jewelry for my grandma.  For Christmas.”  A quick, if somewhat inept recovery.
“Ah, ok… Diamond rings?”
“Yeah…”
“I wanna help.  Let’s look.”
“Ok.”

And that is the story of how I tricked Boyfriend into finding out what kind of engagement ring I would want.  Naturally he prefers something with a more modern look.  I prefer antique.  We found some compromises.  I’m leaning toward hexagonal settings.

He doesn’t want to get engaged until we’ve lived together, and know for a fact that we can stand that kind of lifestyle.  It’s a good idea, but I don’t see that happening anytime in the next year or so.  So I made him promise to stay with me forever.  Now, when he’s being cute, I look and him and say, “No take-backs,” to remind him of his promise.  He always smiles, laughs, and agrees, yes, no take-backs.

purty, but does it have to be a diamond?

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badness, goodness, manfolk

Boyfwend is leaving :(

He’s going back east on his annual visit back home for the winter break.  He’s leaving this afternoon, and I can’t take him to the airport because of work.

Also, Kim Jong Il died.  Good riddance.  Here’s hoping his fat son gets ousted in a coup lead by the starving masses his father managed to keep under his fat thumb.

Anyway, while people are all bummed out in NORTH Korea, SOUTH Korea is having some kind of on-going Tae Kwon Do dance party (I’m sure my invitation is in the mail).

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goodness, life, manfolk

Where is my puppy

I’ve been feeling like this recently:

I want a pet, and so does Boyfriend.  Boyfriend never had a pet growing up, so he regresses into a child around Calico (Diminutive Roommate’s cat).  It’s pretty precious.  We’ve decided that when we move in together (whenever that is), we’re definitely getting a kitten.  He wants a fluffy one.  He’s going to find the cutest one he can, and get it without telling me.  You just watch.

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family, goodness, life, manfolk

Upgrade complete

Yesterday was moving day from the apartment where Diminutive Roommate and I have been living for three years to a new place with a new third roommate just a mile to the east.

With a big event like a move, something’s gonna go wrong.  This move demonstrated Murphy’s Law too well at times.

Wednesday, August 31st: The day before the move
I got an IM from Diminutive Roommate saying that everyone except me had failed to sign one random page of the lease, and that we couldn’t get the keys for the new place without it.  Bear in mind that this is the same management who failed to check that we had signed each page when I delivered the lease (although, to be fair, we didn’t check either), and who refused to give us the keys the night before because our lease didn’t start until the 1st.  Of course, their office didn’t open until 9am, so even though we were officially on the lease, we would have to wait for their office to open to get the keys.  So instead of “wrongly” having the keys from 6pm (when their office closed) to midnight, they would withhold them from us from midnight to 9am on the 1st.  Or we could pay $85 for one day of pro-rated rent.  I smell bullshit.  We planned to pick up the keys first thing in the morning and hope for the best.

I got home on the 31st, said hi to Calico, wandered down the hall to my room, flicked on the light, and… wait, why isn’t the light coming on?  *click, click, click, click* No light.  I went back to the front door to see if the building’s lights were on in the hall (yes).  I flicked the light switch in the kitchen to see if the problem was localized to my room (nope).  I sighed, and chuckled, and called Diminutive Roommate:
“Hey there, just calling to see how you’re doing, and make sure that page got signed by everyone, and we’re good to go for tomorrow, although if you needed help with it I guess you would have called me.  Uh… oh, by the way (haha!), when did you arrange for the power to be turned off here?  Cus there’s a little surprise for you when you get home!  Call me!”

"are you shitting me?"

I ate some melty ice cream, and frowned at the two wedges of brie that had been sitting in a dark, un-powered refrigerator all day.  As prepared as we were, there was still work to do.  I did that eyelid-fluttering mind-search that helps me remember things, and went straight to the box where I had packed the candles (win!).  I packed the last of my junk amid some flickering, romantic lighting, did some packing in the kitchen, and realized at 830pm that I hadn’t had dinner.  I drove around looking for a post office drop box to leave our cable box in, then arrived at Fancy-pants Farms to get a sammich only to discover them 10 minutes past closing.  I crash-landed in a CPK booth instead, and had a nice chat with the waiter who enjoyed The Hobbit more than the following Lord of the Rings trilogy (disagree).  Diminutive Roommate finally got back to me after two and a half hours of calling and texting.  Drove home to find her mulling around in the dark.  We agreed we had done all we could, and hit the sack.

Thursday, September 1st: The day of the move
I wake up around 7 before the alarm and can’t get back to sleep (too excited/ready for it to start the move so it can be over).  Melissa leaves around 815am to get keys and garage clickers from management.  I finish packing up, and pace around while the movers arrive a half-hour late, and seem to move in slow motion once they arrive.  At one point, time seemed to flash to a halt and balance on fine point in the exact spot where I sat.  I could feel each second pass like dripping water, and the expanse of the hours before the move would be done stretched out before me as a vast ocean of carboard boxes and the smell of moving blankets.  It was a low point in my day.

"JUST LEAVE YOUR KEYS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER."

Diminutive Roommate takes her garage clicker to the new place to test it.  The owners of our old apartment building, an older couple, come by with the manager (let’s call him Melty-face) to check out the apartment.  They seem nice enough.  I tell them about how my dehumidifier pulled one cup of water out of the air per hour in my room alone.  The lady looks shocked, and asks if I left the window open during the rain.  I said no, and that the moisture might be in the walls, because we didn’t know where it was coming from.  She didn’t like the sound of that.  Not.  One.  Bit.

Meanwhile I had missed a text from Diminutive Roommate regarding her garage clicker: it won’t work.  She slouches into the kitchen minutes later, and I decide what I need to get back into the game is a quick verbal sparring match with our new management (who couldn’t give us the keys six hours early, but was kind enough to screw up our garage clickers).  I bid a final farewell to our old apartment, and drive a mile east with all our artwork wrapped in brown paper in the back of my little Fiat.  Boyfriend and I try both clickers in every combination possible to no avail.  I call management (let’s call them Overworked Equities).
lady: Overworked Equities.
me: Hi, I’m moving into [address redacted] today, and the garage clickers we picked up this morning aren’t working.
lady: Ok, you’ll have to come in and pick up two new ones.
me: …Absolutely not.  Our movers will be here in 20 minutes.  You need to find another solution.  I’m not driving all the way to your office.
lady: *sigh* Ok, well, uh… ok hold on.
After being bounced around I finally get hold of a guy who speed-talks me through the problem, and says someone will be by in 20 minutes to fix it.

Ten minutes after our movers arrive, a guy comes and opens the gate after fiddling with it and referring to several pages of numbers (“This code isn’t working.  They must have changed it without telling me.”).  The movers make extensive use of the freight elevator, which one coupled set of tattooed Hispanic residents did not like.  The lady asked me if the movers were emptying the elevator and staging everything in the hall first, or moving things one by one, “because that’s slow, and I gotta move my stuff from storage 3 to storage 1.”  Thanks for the warm welcome!

Over the course of the move, even when we ran into problems, I kept a pretty up-beat attitude.  It wasn’t hard; we were so close to finally getting into our new place.  I got short with Boyfriend once (he was being contrarian), but otherwise had maintained a good, positive drive.  But it was not to last.

My father is sort of a Renaissance man.  He’s a lawyer who grew up on sailing and canoeing teams in Hawai’i, loves to hike and navigate the wild, has quite a green thumb, and is currently rebuilding some derelict stairs on the hill behind his house (like a pro).  At our house growing up, he had a garage which he converted to a workshop where he could typically be found late at night working on something or another.  I have fond and powerful memories of spending time there in the summer.  The concrete was always cool on my feet.  He built a bench for Sister and I to stand on so we could “help” him on projects.  The smell of sawdust, the sound of a table saw, the sound of a plane on wood were all visceral experiences for me, and I smile even now thinking about it.

Dad built a hutch out of ash in that workshop while I was a kid.  Dad always said, “Ash is known as the poor man’s oak,” meaning it was cheaper than oak, but just as sturdy.  He did all the dovetail joints himself with a chisel.  The handles on the doors and drawers are solid brass, shiny and smooth.  It’s the closest thing we have to a family heirloom, and it weighs roughly a ton.  It’s never been an easy piece of furniture to move, and this time was no different.

inconsolable

There’s a sharp turn from one hallway to another into my room in the new apartment.  The movers took one look at it and said, “It’s not gonna fit.”  My heart sank.  Then they tried, and it didn’t fit.  We stood in the living room discussing where to put it.  “You want it there?  That’s a good spot,” one of them offered.  I held up a finger to ask them to wait, walked down the hall into my room, and burst into tears.  Boyfriend came in to tell me something, and instead asked me what was wrong.  “If the hutch can’t fit into my room, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  I had reached the end of my rope.  This problem was just too much for me to handle.  Where would I put my clothes?  This beautiful chest my father made for Sister and me as kids would sit in the living room like a common piece of furniture instead of being safely stationed in my bedroom where I could look at it everyday and feel love for it (and from it).  My chest hurt.  I sat on the floor and cried like a child.

Boyfriend went into problem-solving work mode, and began inspecting the window.  “I can pop this screen right off.  I’m gonna measure it.  I think it could fit.  Do you want to ask the movers to try that?”  Neither of us thought they’d be game to try putting a giant, heavy piece of furniture through a window.  I looked up from my spot on the floor and shook my head, “Will you ask them?”  Boyfriend did, and they tried it, and it worked.  The hutch stands in my room now, facing the bed, holding my books and clothes just like it should.  Heart mended, I got back to work.

After some more sweating and shuffling around the mess we’d made in the living room, I asked Boyfriend to go grab some In-n-Out for us and the movers so I could stay and coordinate.  We moved some boxes out of the way and made room at the kitchen table for a meal.  Boyfriend arrived with the food just as they brought in the plaid couch.  We didn’t realize how hungry we were until we started eating.  The van was empty, we were all full of food, and the mover said he would like cash (even though their website said they took credit card).  I drove to an ATM, counted out the cash, signed his papers, went upstairs, and unpacked my room for the next six hours until all that was left was the computer.  It was finally time to sleep.

My current room is about a third smaller than my last, which I’m surprisingly happy about.  I thought I would feel cramped, but looking back, my room always felt a little hollow.  I have less furniture in my current room, but it feels roomier somehow.  There’s a nice central open area in the middle, the closet isn’t packed to the gills, my bookshelf is organized, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it start getting all cluttered.  And I’m changing out the damn vertical blinds for something that blacks out that damn exterior hall light.

In other news my roommates are awesome.  We shared a beer and some Indian food from Samosa House (best vegetarian food ever).  I’m feeling good about this whole setup.

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goodness, life, manfolk, nerd

QR birthday

it's a secret code. it says... burfdah.

Today is Boyfriend’s birthday!  Apparently his parents didn’t make a big deal out of birthdays when he was growing up, so I take it upon myself every year to do something special for him.  Last year was a surprise party with Sprinkles cupcakes and about thirty people.  The year before… can’t remember, but I know I had a few things for him to unwrap (Hellboy?).  It must have been epic to have escaped my memory so thoroughly.

I didn’t get anything for him this year.  He doesn’t like collecting crap, so you can’t just buy anything.  For the surprise party, I told everyone to bring one pair of socks since he needed some, and now he’s flush.  This year I made up for a lack of wrapping paper with an abundance of nerd-inspired artistic creativity.  I generated a bunch of QR codes that read as little messages when decoded with an iPhone, wishing him happy birthday, and telling him about my plans for his birthday (DAIKOKUYA, driving my car while I sing happy birthday to him, etc.).

It was Diminutive Roommate’s idea to color them in, but omg it took forever.  I always underestimate how much time an art project will take me.  It’s crazy how time just slips away.  I started watching Kaze no Stigma last night as I colored.  I can’t decide if it’s funny, or the next generation of Fruits Basket.

I printed them out at work, colored them at home, woke up early and cut them out at his place, then closed myself in the closet and taped them up in a swirly pattern.  I snapped a photo while he asked for water (“Ok baby, one second…”).  Tee hee!

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life, manfolk

Ok, Boyfriend, time to come home now

How many ‘I miss you’s can I bleed?
My face is pale,
my hands are cold,
but the time is long
and silence comes too easily.

Your house is still and dark.
No silly notes, no surprises.
No cat naps, no quiet morning kisses.

The clocks tell time for no one
while ‘miss you’s slip from my mouth
onto the floor, and lie unmoving,
patiently waiting to be heard.

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badness, humor, life, manfolk

Hate on the pretty

Why do I want to punch every handsome man in his handsome face?
I’m not a huge fan of good-looking people in general, but when a certain kind of handsome man enters the room, I want to throw coffee all over his tailored sweater, and break his perfect nose.  But why?  Do all handsome men look like douche bags by default?  Why do I hate them so fast?  I have a few theories, and they all include broad, sweeping generalities, so be ready to sprinkle asterisks (with “most of the time” attached) all over the following:

1. Good looking people are more likely to be jerks.

christian bale can run his mouth like a pro

Handsome people are treated slightly better during simple interactions with strangers than average-looking or ugly people.  As a result, they become used to this treatment, and come to expect it.  For this reason, their sense of entitlement makes pretty people automatically intolerable (even though they’ve been trained to feel this way by others, and it’s not their fault).  People who expect attention seek it out when they don’t get it.  They’re not content to be wall flowers; they must be heard and watched, and do what they must to achieve the attention they crave.  Their tolerance for not being the center of attention at some point during every interaction is laughably low, and for this, I hate them.

2. Good looking people are better looking than me, and always will be.
I can’t stress enough how annoying it is when I’m feeling unusually pretty, and a beautiful woman walks in and suddenly I feel totally inadequate.  It just sucks out loud.  But what’s even worse than not feeling pretty anymore is that the whole time, I’m fully aware of how dumb it is that I feel this way.  Have I gotten uglier since she came around?  Of course not, but I’m less attractive by comparison, so I might as well have.  It doesn’t make sense, but my brain can’t get around it; this woman’s face has conquered my brain and she doesn’t even know it.  Fuck.  And cosmetic surgery is for morons with issues, so this effect is guaranteed to happen again in the future.  It’s a depressing, shallow thought from which I should be able to logically free myself.  No dice.

3. Good looking people are vapid.

don't encourage her, cow

Clearly this isn’t true for every handsome person on the planet, but I’m making sweeping generalizations, so who cares. Pretty people are like pretty paintings: fun to look at, but lacking in depth and long-term return.  With no need to do anything other than smile and laugh to get a positive reaction, deep interactions are unnecessary for pretty people.  They don’t have to try hard to seem interesting, so they don’t.  Think: If you wanted to have a fascinating conversation with someone, who do you think would be more likely to be able to provide one; a handsome person, or an average-looking person?  Perhaps more importantly: which is less likely to complain about how fat they feel after eating half their meal?

4. Good looking people get credit for being good looking.
This is by far the most ridiculous issue I have with handsome people.  I recognize that no one approaches a pretty face and says, “Wow, you’re so pretty, good job!”  But some small function of my brain recognizes being handsome as a benefit on the same level as other accomplishments (the kind people work at).  So who should get credit for a person’s good looks?  I want to say the parents for passing on their genes, but they’re not responsible for having said genes either.  So we’re left with natural selection, and chance.  The handsome people didn’t have anything to do with it, so when they’re paid to be models or shitty actors, or whatever, it makes me pop my best “are you shitting me?” face.  Stop rewarding people for shit they didn’t do.

So let’s review: Pretty people are jerks, they make me feel like shit, they bore me to tears, and they get rewarded for doing nothing.  This all seems like solid evidence for my previously unnamed, knee-jerk hatred for the handsome.

Now that we’ve established that I’m a shallow person who hates pretty people, I have a confession to make: All my friends are handsome and beautiful.  All of them.  I don’t have a single ugly or average-looking friend.  They’re also intelligent, funny, thoughtful, selfless people who work hard, and are not rewarded for their looks with modeling contracts or acting gigs.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my friends, and especially Boyfriend, the handsomest guy I know.

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